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Showing posts with label Weight Loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Weight Loss. Show all posts

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Obesity and Pain




I spend an inordinate amount of my time in pain. It's not acute, debilitating pain that some people surely suffer from, and for that I am thankful. But it is pain nonetheless, and it affects me deeply. It didn't use to be like this. I was an active, healthy teenager and remained so into my 20's and even my early 30's. After I became morbidly obese (at about age 28), I still had quite a bit of mobility without pain. It was harder to move, and I was far more tired, but when I wanted to be active, I could. When it was time to rake leaves or mow a lawn, I could. When I got motivated to try and lose weight, I could walk a couple miles, no problem. I could go swimming and do low impact aerobics without a thought. The only discomforts I experienced were from tiring easily and getting out of breath from being out of shape, and embarrassment over my weight.

Somewhere in there, maybe about 4 years ago, things changed. I started aching all over. My ankles and hips and shoulders would just HURT. But my knees, of course, were the worst. I knew I had a torn meniscus, so I babied it a bit. But as I got fatter and fatter, it became almost impossible for me to move. I could not go up and down stairs without extreme effort and pain. I limped. I hobbled. I hurt just to walk. I really destroyed my joints with the excess weight, and now I am paying the price.

As I have lost weight, much of my mobility has returned. I can do stairs and walk a few blocks, and I can ride my bike. But the problem is, I can't do much else. It's not a matter of aerobic fitness. It's a matter of pain. I WANT to walk further, but I can't. I want to swim, but I can't. When I do, I end up nearly crippled with pain for days or weeks afterwards. I have to stick carefully to my slow and easy exercise regimen... and really, that's fine. I don't mind.

What I mind is being unable to just LIVE. I just want to be able to get up and do simple little things that everyone does: clean the house a bit, play with my daughter, cook, shop. I want to have a more active lifestyle. But when I try, I pay dearly in pain. I would LOVE to be able to get up, wash some dishes, and vacuum. And still be able to play, do a load of laundry, and maybe even do some dusting. I am not talking marathon cleaning here. I just want to get up and move. But instead, when I do those things, I hurt so badly I end up medicated on the sofa. It's a vicious cycle: I want to be active and lose weight, but I have to be sedentary to not hurt, but I have to lose weight to not hurt...

I have been seeing a couple of doctors about this, but sadly, I just found out that my health insurance is being cancelled at the end of the month through no fault of my own. Nothing I can do but file one appeal. If it doesn't go through, I won't be getting any medication, or any knee surgery, for a long time. My only options at this point are over-the-counter medications, strengthening the muscles around the knees to stabilize them, and LOSE WEIGHT. I keep hoping that once I lose a significant chunk of my chunkiness, the pain will ease and I will be okay. But until then, I hurt. It's been a lot worse this week, maybe because of the dreary weather. I always heard old people saying that their joints hurt when it was rainy, but I thought it was just their imagination. But boy has it been worse this week.

I guess the reason I wanted to put this out there is for those heavy folks who are not yet in this position, who still have a relatively pain-free life, who still have the option of normalcy. Please don't wait to get healthy. If only I had known what I was doing to my body five or ten years ago, I would NOT have let this happen. Lose the weight NOW. You don't want to suffer later. It is not worth that Coke and chips. It is not worth that brownie. Trust me on this.

On a brighter note, I know I am far better off now than I would have been had I not lost weight. There is little doubt in my mind that if I were still 278 pounds, I would be in a wheelchair by now. My body was failing. I could barely get around. Surely I would be in far worse shape than I am now. I think I would be crippled by my weight and the pain of bone on bone in my joints. But I lost some weight, and I do feel better. And for that I am VERY thankful.

It's only going to get better from here.

I just thank God that I lost weight before I destroyed my joints.

Posted by Skinnybitch on the My Fat Spouse Forum

Monday, April 29, 2013

Quite a Journey


Yes, this is quite a journey - not only reclaiminng my once fit and attractive body but analyzing my estranged husband's treatment of me as a result of putting on an extraordinary amount of weight - 60 lbs. So far I have lost 15 of it and am very motivated to keep going. Not only for health reasons, and obvious self-esteem benefits but because it is simply something I need to do

I guess I would be more understanding of my husband's position if he had approached the whole issue in a more compassionate and understanding way. His approach has only been very obnoxious and mean-spirited. The nasty looks and very gruff treatment of me when he has brought this up has been very unpleasant.

And while I am certainly not obtuse and realize that you cannot gain a lot of weight and walk around saying "well I am married and take it or leave it" or "well if you loved me you would accept me for how I am". I am fully aware that these are mere copouts said by the overweight person as a demand that their spouse should just be okay with a huge weight gain.

I know I would not be too happy if the shoe were on the other foot and my husband had gotten fat. And again, the problem us heavy-weights must understand is that it is a horse of a different color if the weight gain is beyond one's control and/or from medical reason. Not from personal lack of self-control or will power.

I know in my heart that I will lose every single solitary pound of my weight gain but not for anyone else, but for me.

I only wish my husband had been more loving throughout the process instead of treating me like I have Leprosy.

I don't think I will ever fully manage to rid myself of the memory of his looking at another SLIM woman and when I told him how I felt he said "well, if you weren't heavy I wouldn't have to look" In his mind he was justified !

Good luck to everyone out there ! 

Posted by Just1229 on the My Fat Spouse forum.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

The Reformed Fat Girlfriend



I met my first serious boyfriend when I was 16, and we started seeing each other properly from when I was 17 until I was 21. In that time, I swelled from 120lb to 190lb. The first thing that you should probably know, is that I hated it. I'd gone from being athletic and sexy with bags of confidence, to feeling pissed off and wanting to be invisible.

He made me feel sh*t about it; I've been perusing the threads on here and occasionally a comment like "she already knows" will be raised. Of course she does! She has a mirror - and she's not an idiot, the chances are she'll equate her new fatter bum with the distinct lack of sex around now. Not that was a problem for me of course; our sex-drives were very, very mismatched - I was a several times a day girl - he was a once a week man. I do think this contributed to my weight-gain because I was already feeling rejected physically as it was.

My boyfriend was blatant in his contempt when I put on a few pounds at uni after we'd been together about a year (I'm not going to defend my initial weight-gain, it was down to too much booze, bad food and no working-out): I let it slide and lost it, but a year or so later a few pounds slipped on again and his repulsion was difficult to ignore. This time I felt so bad about myself that I didn't lose it - and what was I losing it for? We were barely sleeping together anyway, so what was the difference. And so my weight yo-yoed for the next two years until it finally settled around 190lb. What was worse about this whole thing, is that he put on over seven stone, weighing over nineteen stone at one point. I didn't make him feel as worthless about it as he made me; I think he's hypocrisy made me dig my heels in about losing it. I was made to feel useless about everything and I think I equated that with being fat - and after all he'd put on, I really couldn't help thinking "what a nerve" he had!

The point of the story is this: firstly, I'm not saying it's "his fault", because it's not - I'm the one who fed myself the ice-cream, so the blame is mine. What I am saying though, is that sometimes when you're in an unhappy relationship but you don't want to leave, you need an outlet. And consciously or unconsciously, my outlet was to take control by piling on the pounds. A dangerous, health-threatening way, but what's done is done. Though before I am slammed by you horrified husbands out there; it wasn't something I did on purpose, nor did I enjoy the way I was changing: it just kind of happened.

We finally broke up; I was devastated for a while and I crept up to a shocking 206lb: however, being alone after such a long time really did me some good. I'd graduated before we'd finished and I'd been struggling to find work: as a single girl, I had more time to devote and I found a great job quite quickly. Things were going in the right direction for me, and it gave me the self-respect I need to kick myself in the a*se; I got a grip and focused solely on myself. I didn't have anyone around to tell me not to do something - or that I couldn't do something. I could do whatever I wanted!

I started eating right and began working out; first with exercise DVDs, but as the weight came off and I got fitter, I started running.  I lost two stone by Christmas and by then I'd bought a house and moved out on my own. I had even more freedom in what I ate and cooked and if I got up at 5am for a run with the dogs, there was no one in the house to complain. And I went from strength to strength.

I settled at 122lb: I feel strong and healthy - I feel great in general. I run, circuit-train and box every week; I ride every day and I'm dying to take up fencing - something I always wanted to do but wasn't fit enough. When I compare myself to the girl I was a year ago, I feel terrible: I was miserable and I had no quality of life at all. All because I clung on to a toxic relationship that I wasn't happy in anymore.

I need to add here; that the same goes for my ex; he's now back around the same weight he was when we first met. So I suppose the point here is that yes, laziness and over-eating make you fat: but the real question is, what's making them lazy and over-eat??

I am in a new relationship now, with a man who has a libido to rival mine! He is not my type; I was always partial to clean-cut pretty boys. But this new boyfriend is rugged, blunt and forward. He thinks the sun shines out of my every orifice, and because he makes me feel so good, I want to be at my absolute best all of the time. He's very fit; we go running together and he runs through some of the Infantry PT work-outs with me. Keeping fit and healthy has become a joint activity and part of the relationship; something I have never had before - and I really, really like it. I never feel under-valued or unwanted around him; we have a policy of honesty and I find that really comforting; there's no embarrassment or anything to hide behind.

So, have a think about it. Personally, I needed to be alone and find a bit of self-respect before I could become the woman I really am. And once I was, I could find a healthy relationship with someone who is good for me. Sometimes a relationship can be damning and can strip away your need to look after yourself, simply because you're so miserable. I do want to highlight that just as I did not blame my ex for my weight-gain, people with heavy spouses are not to blame - I just think that there are always reasons for getting fat, past wanting to taste another cake and those reasons should be explored with your partner. I never did in my relationship and I do wonder, if we had, whether things could have been resolved.

Posted by
Freckle_Face 
on the My Fat Spouse Forum

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Love to him is a certain number on a scale...why?



I am new to this forum and this is my first post. I am out of my mind and not sure what to do and any advice would be greatly appreciated. If you can relate please tell me what you did.

I use to weighed over 350. Being fat is not beautiful or healthy. I lost 100lbs when I met my boyfriend. That means I was 250. Humongous. He started to work out with me and I lost about 60lbs. He moved in with me about a year and a half ago. (We been together 2 years now). About a year ago he confessed that he never dated big woman and never even had fat friends because it dosent look right. He dosent hate them just that he dosent see it healthy.

He isnt Mr.Perfect either. He weighes about 230lbs. I think he gained like 10-20 lbs since he been with me. But he still looks good. I had an accident this year which almost took my life and I had to take time off from everything to recuperate. I started school back again and excersising. Ive lost 10lbs. I weigh now 165. He says he loves me and wants to marry me and wants to have 2 children at least. I do not show him my body because I have a lot of excessive skin that needs removal. Lately he has been telling me that I need to weigh 140 to marry him. Also at 140 he will be more romantic. Kiss me more, hug me more, and a lot of other stuff. Sex life has been diminishing and last night he told me that I promised him 140 and its been a year and I havent lost much. He said its my fault we are not having sex much. Blame no one but myself. He says it dosent look good a guy weighing more than a girl (I am about 60lbs under him) or a girl to be close to a guys weight. He wants to drop down about 30lbs. I want to get to 140.

My question is will he change when I get to 140? Will he be more romantic? Will he marry me? I am afraid of getting down to the 140 and stressing everyminute of gaining ONE pound. I am stressing now. It isnt easy losing weight.

Why are men so fixated on a certain body and number on scale? Why is he putting this stress on me? I am to the point I feel horrible. I dread getting out of bed. I do love him and he always tells me he loves me. I accept him and love to him sees a number on a scale.

posted by lacrimablu on Matilda Tuesday's My Fat Spouse Forum  

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Thank You!





I am so glad to have your found website. I am obese. Although I didn't  know this because I was in such denial....until my husband finally said something to me. My weight gain is starting to bother him. In 10 years (four kids too) of our marriage, I gained 60 lbs.

I went from 130 to 190 lbs (I'm 5'1 so this is a LOT!).  Inspite of this, my hubby still says how beautiful and sexy I am everyday, which contributed to my denial.  Before our last child (8 months now), I managed to lose 50 lbs on atkins diet. I felt great and then when I had a miscarriage and then a successful pregnancy after that, I just gave up on my diet and just gorged everything in sight.

When my husband told me that it's starting to bother him (our sex life hasn't suffered yet, thankfully), my first reaction was to be upset. And then it went to "you don't love me" and "if you truly loved me, you wouldn't care whether I am fat or thin." And then, a realization. I wanted to be objective about this so I looked up, "when your wife is fat" and the first webpage that came up was this site.

Boy, I am so glad that I clicked on it because it gave me the objectivity I needed.  Everything that my husband said regarding my weight gain echoed in the pages of this website but I wasn't upset reading them.  In fact, it shed a LOT of light and I think it is the motivation that I need. I just wanted to say thank you.

posted by  sunnydae on  Matilda Tuesday's My Fat Spouse Forum

Sunday, February 6, 2011

A Sexy Way to Tell That Certain Someone to Lose Weight





My chubby hubs knows I think he's got a fat gut and I don't like it. But I never told him how it turns me off. I didn't want to devaste him sexually, but I feel if he knew, he might be motivated to lose it. It's a growing problem, for both of us! It's in the way!


Last night we lay in bed, he was feeling frisky, but I didn't realize it until we hit the sack. Of course, I wasn't at all frisky. That led to him saying he can't always tell when I want sex, and doesn't know what to do to turn me on. So I told him I'd make a list of a dozen or so things that he could do to heat things up, IF he'd do the same for me. He had to make a list too.

On my list, I wrote:
1. talk with me
2. ask me to go on a walk
3. shoulder massage!
4. kisses
5. go out somewhere, anywhere, together
6. compliment me
7. tell me you love me
8. hugs are nice
9. hugs with ass groping too
10. cuddling works
11. SERIOUSLY work on losing weight (because hugging and cuddling will be even nicer)

Then I drew a little heart so he knew I wasn't being sarcastic.

I smiled, gave him my list, and told him I loved him. He read it later, and I didn't hear a peep about it... but... he didn't have seconds at dinner tonight, and instead of buttering up 2 slices of rye breadfor his coffee, he took his coffee and got out of the kitchen. Surprise, surprise! We'll see how it goes, but I'm hopeful. 

I thank you for your website and forum. I discovered it just this morning and it gave me the "permission" I neededto do this. A lot of my anger comes from seeing him sabatoge himself by overeating and doing wimpy workouts. I take it personally. I think if he at least TRIED, I could be encouraging rather than bitch and nag.

But now I do have to nag him to make a list for me.


Posted by "Bluesette" on the My Fat Spouse Forum

Click Here to read more

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

No Tchotchke Rule

My family has a combination of rule and private joke - the "no tchotchke rule". Meaning no useless cutsey bric-a brac that collects dust and shelf space. We're a bunch of hopeless markdown table, garage sale, and thrift shop addicts,so we had to enact it to keep from wasting money and hoarding more junk then we have space for, and It's worked very well. For one of us to be "alllowed" to buy an item, no matter how cheap/free it is, we have to answer the following questions:

1. Do we need it?
2. Is it useful?
3.Is this need already being met by something else we own?
4..Do we have space for this in our home?
5. Is this object good enough to merit getting rid of whatever we already have?

That set of questions shoots down almost 95% of the stuff we want to buy on impulse ,saving money and hassle of dealing with it later It's also great fun to enforce it on each other.WHAT ON EARTH DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH WEIGHT LOSS, right? I'm sure the fitter people on this board ask themselves the same questions before they stick a piece of food into their mouth that wasn't in the food plan for the day, but applying this rule to my diet was a real A-ha moment for me :

1. Do I need this? ( (Am I actually hungry, or just in need of a big drink of water, a walk around the block and something to do?)
2.Is this useful? ( For my body- does this food have some kind of nutritional benefit that will make me healthier and help me get more fit, or it it empty calories?)
3. Is this need being met by something else ? ( yeah, a milkshake has calcium in it but so does unsweetened yogurt- or broccoli, you get the idea)
4. Do i have space for it in my body? My calorie count? On my backside? (Hmmm, probably not)
5. Is this food worth taking things out of my plan for the day? Will that help me meet my goals?

If it's half as effective on calories as stuff this should be a great strategy.

posted by Andrea on the My Fat Spouse Social Network

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Weight-loss army-style by Mary45

Is your spouse driving you crazy with "losing weight is too hard", "I don't feel like exercising today" and "I'll starve if I don't eat"? For those of you in the UK there might be a solution - or at least a way to prove that a walk in the park and foregoing icecream is no big deal after all.

I dunno how you could get your spouse to go willingly though, and sending him/her off with a promise of "a surprise all-inclusive pampering spa-holiday" might not do the relationship any favours. But here it is anyway:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/woman/article1040517.ece

It's not going to give lasting results and it's probably unhealthy as hell in the long run too. But I still like it. In fact I absolutely love it! It should teach the most stubborn exercise-hater to tell the difference between slight discomfort from light exercise and total exhaustion and pain from going flat out and beyond. And you won't come back still thinking that you'll drop dead if you don't get to satisfy a craving instantly.

If you can survive this for a week you'll very likely realise what you are physically and mentally capable of if you really set your mind to it.

The testimonials at www.newyoubootcamp.com seem to show genuine satisfaction among clients who are ordinary folks.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Does Losing Weight for Vanity Purposes Make You Bad? by A101

One of my issues with the fat movement is that they believe that wanting to get your body into a certain shape can only come from ‘hating yourself‘.

I have always found this statement ridiculous.

Its no different then saying ‘In order to want to improve/change/gain your education, you must first HATE your mind’.It is complete nonsense.

Why is it that in the fat movement eyes, the want to change things can only come from 'self hate'?

Here is a fact of life: We are NOT born at our full potential. Our potentials are there to be discovered, and the only way to discover them is to actively pursue them.

Other statements from the fat movement are ‘If you choose to lose weight, it means you think fat people are bad, that you think fat is not attractive, and therefore you hate fat people’.

And ‘People who lose weight due to looks, are simply giving in to societies idea of beauty’.

Again this is nonsense.

For one, saying that ‘wanting to lose weight simply means you are giving into societies idea of beauty’ is no different then saying ‘By revising for exams/improving your education, you are simply conforming to societies idea of intelligence’.

The other problem with the line: ‘People who lose weight due to looks, are simply giving in to societies idea of beauty’ is this:By stating this line it is basically implying that NOBODY in their right, honest, working mind, could actually well and truly want this for themselves.It is basically implying you can only either:
A) Truly NOT want it

Or

B) Be brainwashed into wanting it

In other words, nobody could ever make an informed decision that they could want this for themselves.

Now my question is: What is wrong with wanting your body to be athletic/well muscled/trim, with a healthy low body fat level?

I know that not everyone can be a ‘Baywatch babe/hunk’, and that not everyone would want that look (because there is NO look that EVERYONE finds attractive, only looks that are more popular then others), but it is equally untrue that nobody could possibly want to give their body a certain look, or achieve it as best as they can.

I 100% believe that nobody should be made too, or made to feel like they have too, look a certain way. But that does NOT mean that it is wrong if a person chooses for themselves that they want to have a trimmer body.

If we go back to this line: ‘If you choose to lose weight, it means you think fat people are bad, that you think fat is not attractive, and therefore you hate fat people’ the problems with this statement stick out like a sore thumb.

We ALL want different things for ourselves. We all strive for different things from education, from work, from life itself. And we also ALL strive for different things from our body.

It is also a fact of life that physical attraction exists and that it is perfectly human to feel this, whether you want to admit it or not.

And some people will want to gain a trimmer physique as this is what is (and throughout all time, whilst other looks have come and gone) found to be attractive by most.

A good analogy for the fat movements views on losing body fat is:Not everyone for example is born athletic. But there are people who are. Other people on the other hand are born with absolutely no athletic ability. But does it mean that they ‘hate themselves’ if they work hard to improve/gain athletic ability? Does it mean they ‘hate’ non-athletic people because they themselves are trying too become/working on becoming athletic?

Would it have been better if they just sat on the side lines and ‘accepted’ that they had no natural athletic ability, and therefore come to the (wrong) conclusion that they therefore could never possibly have any? And tell themselves that if they did try, the only way they could gain any athletic ability was to train for 12 hours a day until they were sick and collapsed?

Would that have been better?

Could there be no way that a person could actually want athletic ability? That the only way they could want it was if they were ‘brainwashed’?

That if a person wants athletic ability, its because they hate themselves and so are conforming to society because a lot of society likes sports?

If this were true, it would mean that nobody could ever play a sport because they themselves like it?

It is a fact that some people will like the look of an athletic body, and they will want to achieve one for themselves as best they can.

People, as I said, shouldn’t be made to feel they have to look a certain way, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t people who won’t want to work to try and achieve, to the best of their ability, a certain look.

In my opinion it shouldn’t be about stopping people who want to lose weight from losing weight, or encouraging people to do whatever it takes to be ‘thin’.

It should be about people deciding the look they like, whether they are happy as the are, or wanting to become trimmer/more muscular/more athletic or just lose a few extra pounds, and making sure they get there the HEALTHY way.

Yes losing weight should always be about health first, and you shouldn’t do things to your body that will damage it for the sake of physical appearance.

But another fact of life is this:Getting in shape, and being happy and healthy are NOT mutually exclusive.

And gaining the look you want, as best you can, does NOT mean sacrificing your health.

If what you are doing to look good is damaging your health, that means you are doing it WRONG.

Getting into shape is meant to make your life better!!

Getting into shape comes from:
: Sensible resistance training. Building the muscles in your body and strengthening them
: Sensible cardiovascular training, improving your bodies lung power, heart and circulatory systems
: Eating healthy foods throughout the day, not from starvation. To keep burning calories your body needs to gain muscle. Starving yourself causes your body to BURN muscle.It does not come from:

: Eating like a rabbit
: Training in the gym until your between life and death
: Expecting 10 years of weight gain to disappear in a matter of weeks

The term ‘95% of diets fail’ comes from FAD DIETS, which are temporary, require drastic drops in calories, and often don’t include exercise, or at least any exercise that will benefit your muscles or go to the other extreme with monumental workouts that wreck your body and don't geive the muscles adequate time (or nutrition) to recovery.

The term is NOT talking about programs incorporating exercise and healthy nutrition into your life, for life!

The way to gain weight back is to stop what you are doing and return to old habits, which is exactly what happens when people end a diet (as they are temporary, and virtually impossible to maintain for life).

THAT is why 95% of diets fail. NOT because there is NO way to maintain weightloss, but because ‘diets’ are temporary quick fixes that promise monumental weight losses from weight that took years to accumulate, and often encourage unhealthy means in order to get there.

This is also where the ‘dieting is dangerous’ phrase comes from.

Again it is not talking about sensible resistance and cardio training, with a healthy eating plan, but the fad diets.

But the fat movement makes out there’s is no difference. That EVERYTHING to do with losing weight is a trick to get you on a fad, starvation diet, that you can only be fat and happy or thin, hungry and miserable, and that anyway of losing weight is unhealthy because there is ‘no way to maintain weight loss’, which is again ignoring the aforementioned importance of gaining muscle, sensible resistance and cardio training, rest and recuperation and healthy food.

As far as I am concerned, weight loss for ‘vanity reasons’ is not bad, as people like different looks, be it with bodies, hair, make-up, clothing, etc, or different activates, different music, different shows, different beliefs and different lifestyles.

Some people think anything to do with looks is ‘sad’, and that’s fine if they believe that is right for their life. But that does not change the fact that physical attraction is a human need for most people (and a natural and normal one, not an ‘immature’ one).

People should NOT be forced to look a certain way, or be trimmer, but at the same time that does NOT mean that NO-ONE can make a decision that they like a certain look, and therefore want to achieve it, or as best as they can.

What should be focused on is that if someone wants to achieve a certain look, they should be going about it in a healthy way and setting small realistic goals for themselves.

A 350lb man saying ‘I want a six-pack’ is too much at the current point the is at. His goal should first be to change his lifestyle and exercise patterns to incorporate exercise and healthy nutrition, introduce them slowly, and build up his bodies response to this new stimulation, then work on maybe losing 5lbs of fat as his first goal, and go from there.

We all have potential, and we don’t know how far we can go.

If this 350lb man sticks with his programme, is realistic about his goals, and takes it one step at a time, and above all realises that his weight gain took a long time to accumulate, therefore it is unrealistic to assume it will come off in no time at all, but that it will make his rewards all the sweeter when his targets come into view, then who knows where he can go?

Until you go for it and really stick with it, you don’t know where your potential will take you.

We all have limits, but those limits and how far our potential can go are to be discovered.

The key to losing weight and keeping it off is taking it one step at a time and improving bit by bit. Don’t go around telling yourself what you can’t do, FIND OUT WHAT YOU CAN!!

So many have surprised themselves in all areas of life by surpassing what they believed they could.

Even Olympic athletes didn’t know they were going to get to that level. They worked hard, kept going and took the path to discovering their potential and it lead them to greatness.

At any point the could have said ‘I’ll never do it’ and stopped, and I have no doubt there were times when they wanted to quit, or others told them they couldn’t do it, but persevering is what separates them from those who give up.

Not everyone could be an Olympic athlete, but then again no-one knows if they can be until they try.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to achieve a certain body, it absolutely does not mean that you ‘hate’ those who don’t have it, or those who have the same type of body that you yourself are trying to change.

Just like as mentioned, wanting to improve your education doesn’t mean you hate people who are at the level of education you are trying to leave.

And working to earn money doesn’t mean you hate those who have the same amount of money that you have now.

We all like different things. Wanting a certain look does not equal ‘conforming to society’, any more then the education analogy I used earlier.

People should not be forced or pressured to look a certain way, but that doesn’t mean people should be forced or pressured to not make changes that they themselves choose to make, or labelled ‘sell outs’ because of it.

And this includes for physical attraction. Some people like certain looks and therefore want to achieve them.

Physical attraction plays a part in many relationships.

And when choosing to lose body fat you can do it for more than one reason. You can have a whole host. Its not a choice between lose body fat for yourself or lose body fat for your partner etc.

It can be for every and any reason. To make yourself fitter, stronger and healthier, to improve quality of sex lives, which therefore improves quality in other areas (needing sex is not immature, it’s a natural adult need), to achieve a look you like, to give you more energy to cope with children or stress easier etc.

Your reasons are your reasons.

Wanting to lose bodyfat/gain muscle for ‘vanity purposes’ is not wrong, it does not make you hateful of others, and it does not make you ‘brainwashed’.

Make your choices, just make sure you are healthy when you execute your choices and decisions, take it one step at a time, and remember to work to improve, but also enjoy what you have already achieved.

Find your potential, DO NOT tell yourself you have none! (or that there's nothing you can do


A101 wrote this for his blog Delving into the World of Pro-Fat
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