It is always easier to point a finger at someone else...

"It is always easier to point a finger at someone else though instead of looking inward to deal with your own faults and shortcomings."

Yes it is, the whole fat movement is built on this.....right well that's that one sorted then.

Its not blaming all of the marriage faults on the obese spouse. Its the spouse has become obese, which then causes problems.

But she is right, i really wish the people on this site would get over their selfishness of wanting their partners to...you know...stay alive.

This goes to show the victimhood mentality. It seems like this person thinks that fit spouses just blame everything that goes wrong on the obese one.

That's crap, the obesity ITSELF causes problems.

Worries about health, (eventual) medical bills, also sex lives suffer, the obese spouses sex DRIVE suffers or they get sexual problems (thinking its immature to want a sex life is itself immature, the phrases 'why are you so pissed off? Not getting any at home?' were made for a reason, because sex is a human need and people can grow frustrated (especially if celibacy is FORCED on them by a partner who can't have sex (or an enjoyable experience with it) due to their lifestyle, and doesn't seem at all interested in changing that), hence the term sexual frustration), wondering why a person is more interested in their destructive lifestyle then staying healthy etc

Also that whole 'its whats inside, not the package' line again doesn't work, simply because (i assume its a women writing) if the personality her husband has was in a woman, she would NOT become a lesbian to be with that personality. She would want it in a mans body to be in an intimate relationship with it, so the package DOES matter.

And again, there is more then just personality at play in relationships because a person whos personality you like is called a FRIEND, and people aren't all in relationships for only a friend, because they have friends for that.

Different people have different roles. The love for a child, is different to love of a parent, which is different to love of a friend, which is different to love of a partner etc

A partner is also your SEXUAL partner. Not just 'a nice person you hang out with'. And people need to be turned on too have sex, not just flick a switch.

Also 'putting their spouse before their own selfish wants and needs'??

The obese spouses of the people on this site are the ones putting food and laziness ahead of looking after their relationship, then saying 'well you have to love me anyway', err hello, THAT'S selfish.

How is a person who has put up with that for sometimes 20+ years and STILL trying to help 'selfish'??

This is pure sympathy factor typical stuff. The obese spouse must be the nice kind one, and the fit spouse must be the bully.

Fit spouses are NOT blaming every problem that comes along on the obese spouse. The obese spouses obesity CAUSES problems, and obviously people are going to be unhappy when that person then shows no interest in solving the problem, and you have movements like the fat movement trying to convince people that any move made to help, isn't help, but hate.

And then they go and wonder why people are on here asking for help after all that?

Geez.




Posted by A101 on the My Fat Spouse Forum

Fattitude - fat·ti·tude [fat-i-tood, -tyood]

In a recent post I listed a few items as examples of what I consider to be 'fatitude'.  Below is my attempt to take it a step further and begin to categorically define the term originally coined by M2.  

Did I get it right? Please post your corrections, additions, deletions, etc.

Fattitude - fat·ti·tude [fat-i-tood, -tyood]

A collection of highly irrational, and often contradictory attitudes, beliefs and expectations about fatness/obesity, its causes and cures, and its role in relationships and society. The degree to which someone agrees with any or all of the following is their level of fattitude:

Examples:

* Believing that becoming obese is a natural, unavoidable and irreversible result of the aging process, exactly the same as getting wrinkles or losing hair. Anyone who manages to avoid this has exceedingly rare genetics and must be a "fitness nut" who lives a very extreme, miserable lifestyle where they are virtual slaves to maintaining their unnatural bodies.

* Believing that obesity is caused by mysterious medical conditions, stress, mean spouses, and a hundred other things that the individual cannot control, but NEVER by laziness or overeating.

* Believing that losing weight through sensible eating and exercise is virtually impossible (see previous).

* No one (spouse, child, parent, sibling, etc) should ever expect or encourage another person to lose weight for any reason whatsoever, whether it be health/longivity, quality of life, attractiveness, etc.

* Believing that it is normal and perfectly acceptable to remain or become fit for the purpose of attracting a spouse, then once you are married, letting yourself go and gaining 50+ pounds. Marriage is a binding contract that requires your spouse to find you attractive no matter how much you let yourself go. If they protest, they should be labeled shallow, immature and narcissistic. Some people may consider this an unethical "bait and switch" but they are just haters and fatists (see below).

* Calling fat rolls and cellulite "curves" and referring to obese females as "real women"

* Having an entitled mentality that fat people should be treated as a protected class.

* Referring to fat people as 'normal' and healthy/fit people as 'thin' or 'skinny'.

* Insisting that regarding fat people as unattractive and/or undeserving of special protection is somehow comparable to racism or homophobia (hence the term 'fatist').

* Insisting that "it's all Hollywood's fault" that most people find a fit healthy body attractive and blubber unattractive. Obese is normal, fit is not.

* Inexplicably claiming that you can somehow be both fat and healthy/fit at the same time.

Posted by RiderX on the