I am new to this forum and this is my first post. I am out of my mind and not sure what to do and any advice would be greatly appreciated. If you can relate please tell me what you did.
I use to weighed over 350. Being fat is not beautiful or healthy. I lost 100lbs when I met my boyfriend. That means I was 250. Humongous. He started to work out with me and I lost about 60lbs. He moved in with me about a year and a half ago. (We been together 2 years now). About a year ago he confessed that he never dated big woman and never even had fat friends because it dosent look right. He dosent hate them just that he dosent see it healthy.
He isnt Mr.Perfect either. He weighes about 230lbs. I think he gained like 10-20 lbs since he been with me. But he still looks good. I had an accident this year which almost took my life and I had to take time off from everything to recuperate. I started school back again and excersising. Ive lost 10lbs. I weigh now 165. He says he loves me and wants to marry me and wants to have 2 children at least. I do not show him my body because I have a lot of excessive skin that needs removal. Lately he has been telling me that I need to weigh 140 to marry him. Also at 140 he will be more romantic. Kiss me more, hug me more, and a lot of other stuff. Sex life has been diminishing and last night he told me that I promised him 140 and its been a year and I havent lost much. He said its my fault we are not having sex much. Blame no one but myself. He says it dosent look good a guy weighing more than a girl (I am about 60lbs under him) or a girl to be close to a guys weight. He wants to drop down about 30lbs. I want to get to 140.
My question is will he change when I get to 140? Will he be more romantic? Will he marry me? I am afraid of getting down to the 140 and stressing everyminute of gaining ONE pound. I am stressing now. It isnt easy losing weight.
Why are men so fixated on a certain body and number on scale? Why is he putting this stress on me? I am to the point I feel horrible. I dread getting out of bed. I do love him and he always tells me he loves me. I accept him and love to him sees a number on a scale.
posted by lacrimablu on Matilda Tuesday's My Fat Spouse Forum
