My chubby hubs knows I think he's got a fat gut and I don't like it. But I never told him how it turns me off. I didn't want to devaste him sexually, but I feel if he knew, he might be motivated to lose it. It's a growing problem, for both of us! It's in the way!
Last night we lay in bed, he was feeling frisky, but I didn't realize it until we hit the sack. Of course, I wasn't at all frisky. That led to him saying he can't always tell when I want sex, and doesn't know what to do to turn me on. So I told him I'd make a list of a dozen or so things that he could do to heat things up, IF he'd do the same for me. He had to make a list too.
On my list, I wrote:
1. talk with me
2. ask me to go on a walk
3. shoulder massage!
5. go out somewhere, anywhere, together
6. compliment me
7. tell me you love me
8. hugs are nice
9. hugs with ass groping too
10. cuddling works
11. SERIOUSLY work on losing weight (because hugging and cuddling will be even nicer)
Then I drew a little heart so he knew I wasn't being sarcastic.
I smiled, gave him my list, and told him I loved him. He read it later, and I didn't hear a peep about it... but... he didn't have seconds at dinner tonight, and instead of buttering up 2 slices of rye breadfor his coffee, he took his coffee and got out of the kitchen. Surprise, surprise! We'll see how it goes, but I'm hopeful.
I thank you for your website and forum. I discovered it just this morning and it gave me the "permission" I neededto do this. A lot of my anger comes from seeing him sabatoge himself by overeating and doing wimpy workouts. I take it personally. I think if he at least TRIED, I could be encouraging rather than bitch and nag.
But now I do have to nag him to make a list for me.
Posted by "Bluesette" on the My Fat Spouse Forum
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