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Sunday, December 12, 2010

Married with two affairs

I've been lurking around these forums for a while, and feeling slightly better reading all your stories than I'm not alone in my misery. I've been married for 11 years (I married young) to someone who started out thin, attractive, sportsy and energetic, and who is now a very overweight fatling bordering on obesity (she's around 224 pounds for 5 feet 9 inches), who doesn't take care of herself in any manner, stopped doing sports or even going out entirely, has no energy, developed sleep apnea, is working on developing other health issues, and is basically a snappy bitch 24/7. We have two kids, a 8yo boy and a 5yo girl, they're both smart and thin, neither one is fat, they both do a lot of sports outside school and they seem to be happy kids. My wife, besides self-destructing with food and being too lazy to go out and do things with the kids, is a fairly good mother, is good about maintaining a united front with me when we decide something about the kids, cooks healthy meals for them, she loves the kids, they love her back, so I don't want to upset the apple cart. I'm also the sole income source for the family and I've been supporting her for as long as we've been married. I work my ass off while she does nothing all day once the kids are in school, but I've never complained.

However I'm ashamed to do anything with her, I don't want to go out and be seen with her,  every time we talk without the kids around she bitches at me, and when she comes on to me about once a week or so, I am grossed out and pretend to be tired. I feel like I'm on the wrong end of a major bait-and-switch.

I'm thin (170 pounds for 6 feet two) and I'm a pretty smiley and confident person. My wife piled the pounds on quickly after we got married so all that resentment already existed back then, and I had an affair with a thin girl which she never knew about. I put an end to it once I decided to have a family. These days, once in a while attractive women still chat me up and it takes a lot of self-discipline to ignore it. Once I ended up at a convention (I go to a few for my job) in the hotel room of a very attractive, thin, feminine 40yo who had chatted me up, and I said goodnight and walked away. It wasn't easy.

I've had "the talk" with my wife about her weight and my concerns for her health, I've tried all sorts of things, same as everyone here it seems (gym, going on walks, only having healthy food in the house..) and she has all sorts of stalling techniques to avoid directly telling me no, but yet nothing ever happens and my resentment and the feeling I'm wasting my one life keeps building.

Late last year a woman who's close to my feminine ideal flirted with me ("offline", not on the computer) and I finally decided to pursue it. She's knows I'm married, she's thin, mid thirties, feminine, takes care of her looks, only speaks to say something intelligent, and above all she has a great and positive personality. She's got kids of her own and doesn't want to be in a relationship again due to very bad history with men, but still has needs. She also has a power job and interesting stories about it all the time. We became sex buddies and it's still ongoing, it's been over a year now. I can't begin to explain how good it feels to be desired by an attractive, feminine and very smart woman, to the point that I can barely walk in the door of her place before being jumped on. She's not after money (she makes more than I do!), there are no strings attached, no head games, we meet up for sex and that's that. Having this affair has done a lot to restore my self-confidence and blowing off steam from being unwilling to leave my wife since that would also probably mean leaving the kids I adore.

My sex buddy isn't always available, which is normal - she has a job and kids of her own. So this summer I met another woman, also mid thirties, also thin, great looking, with a genuine, very outgoing and energetic personality. Very different looking in every way than my mistress but just as hot. This time I'm the one who pursued her, and, it must be some sort of personal best, even taking into account my sleeping around days before getting married, we went from meeting to being in bed in about 4 hours total. I guess I needed some reassurance that hooking up with that first woman wasn't a fluke, that I could seduce even if the woman didn't give herself up on a platter, and that I am still actually attractive and don't actually deserve to just be with my fatling. She also has a high libido, no kids, single, she does know I'm married, she has a job as well, not after money. She would be happy to enter a relationship but I've told her upfront that I won't leave my family, ever. Yet that affair is also still ongoing.. Again I barely can walk in the door before we end up in bed. In 11 years, even though I support my fatling wife and even do quite a bit around the house, she has never done so much as make me a coffee (a stupid example, I don't need a maid, but just a sign of attention), even when we were dating and she was in the "selling the idea of marriage" period. I thought it was normal and I didn't deserve any attention.. yet both mistresses are full of small attentions, one of them even always has a coffee ready, stirred up and all, when I visit. I purposedly try to avoid an emotional affair so I don't discuss issues or my life much with them, but they're still both much more encouraging and motivating than my legitimate wife. How f-ed up is that.

I call one when the other isn't available, so basically I end up having sex with a thin, feminine girl 4 times a week on average, while remaining married to a bitchy unappreciative entitlement queen fatling, for the sake of the kids. I do use protection all the time. I'm not trying to set myself up to be found out so she takes the decision to divorce and free me - I really will be sticking around to be present for my kids and ensure they grow up healthy and happy like they are now. I guess my main concern is that I feel no guilt whatsoever and that I actually feel so much better about myself.

I have zero hope that my fatling will ever lose the weight, as she is still ballooning up further and using stalling technique after stalling technique to avoid direct confrontation on the issue, or restore her pre-marriage personality; so I have every intention to keep these affairs or even having new ones.

posted by The Trapped Thinling  on


  1. You are such a fucking delusional dickhead. You don't deserve to be married. If this is your attitude towards your wife, it would be best to just leave.

    I can't even begin to explain how completely stupid you are. Ugh. You make me lose faith in the human race. Congrats.


  2. When commenting on blogs, I try to always make sure that anything I write is something I"d say in person. This passes the test:

    You're an awful human being. You may be miserable, you may have lost hope for your marriage, and your wife may be as terrible as you say. But you know what: YOU'RE MARRIED TO HER. You don't get to check out just because it's hard. That's what marriage is. She isn't responsive? Try harder. There are two responsible choices: 1) Work to fix your marriage or 2) leave it. Angrily pursuing affairs with "thin" women isn't on the list. Jesus, be a fucking man.

  3. Good on you! She doesn't deserve you. She's a fat selfish parasite.

    Don't listen to the butthurt bitch above. She seems to be one of those that believes marriage is supposed to be slavery and neglect.

  4. Katy,
    I won't defend the OP's behavior, but I noticed that you made no criticism whatsover of the wife's roll in this. Assuming the facts of her behavior are as stated, do you believe that she is completely blameless and innocent in the situation? If so, you too are delusional and have no concept of what comprises a healthy relationship.

  5. Why not just leave? And why would any self respecting woman sleep with a married man? Yes your wife is fat and lazy, so leave, but why cheat and risk upsetting your kids. You don't know what kind of woman that is. If she can sleep with a married man, she can sleep with anyone and have any std. You don't have respect for yourself either

  6. Why not leave your wife to lessen the damage? You sleep around for most times of the week and expect no repercussions? I'm sorry, but no matter how irresponsible your wife is about her weight she, in the very least, deserves a little bit of honesty. In the long run, your situation may end up in the ditch.

  7. I would never cheat but unfortunately it's cheaper to keep her. I don't see why he should lose his kids, money and home to give a fat unattractive and apparently lazy spouse alimony and child support for 18 years. Until we change the marriage laws it will always make more financial and logical sense to stay married even to someone you hate.

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