I'm not saying people cheat cause their partner gets fat, but...

Most married couples don't maintain hot sex lives. I know this because every married couple I've ever met is shocked that my husband and I seem to still be in the "honeymoon phase" apparently to them the honeymoon phase means physical affection and evidence of mutual sexual attraction. Also 61% of Americans are either obese or overweight.

I'm not saying people cheat cause their partner gets fat, but come on, the numbers aren't really that far out of line with that possibility. Though I'm sure it's far more complex than that.

Some people can't and shouldn't be monogamous. They've allowed themselves to get into a social agreement that goes against who they are as people, what is required for those people is honesty and perhaps opening the relationship.

For people who want to be monogamous and aren't just under social pressure to be so, then a bad sex life is often the reason a partner goes to get sex somewhere else on the side. That would be the most practical reason for introducing a new sexual partner into their life. Don't you agree?

The level of emotional attachment between partners in an affair is kind of a non-issue, since not all people can have sex detached completely from emotion, and sooner or later most people develop some emotional attachment to the person or persons they are physically intimate with.

But I would venture to say, and I could always be wrong, but I would say statistically, except for those cases where the desire to be monogamous isn't genuine, a couple who has a hot sex life isn't looking elsewhere.

Most human beings have other goals in life besides just sex. If you have a hot sex life with your partner and you have any type of career ambition at all and any free time to yourself, chances are good you don't want to fill it with yet another responsibility.

Relationships are complicated. They become even more complicated when an affair is added to the mix. This is more energy than most people really want to devote and if they were happy at home, they wouldn't be devoting it.

I know this from personal experience not just theory. I was the sole confidant of a friend who had an affair, and I myself was temporarily in an open relationship. The level of energy it takes to maintain two relationships on the sexual level is insane. Especially if it's open (I kind of understand the secret part of affairs because its way too much energy to have to constantly reassure your partners you aren't leaving them for the other.)

Posted by Yoga Nut on the My Fat Spouse Forum

Does PCOS cause weight gain?

Saying that thyroid issues and PCOS CAUSE weight gain, may be true, but that's usually cause you're in a loop. I really believe that the majority of PCOS and thyroid issues are brought on in large part by weight gain.

The problem with western medicine is that people forget everything is organically interconnected in the body. If you throw one system out of whack it causes a chain reaction. And weight is very closely tied in with hormones, as are what types of foods you eat, which can be tied in with weight. If you're sensitive to certain hormonal issues, simple carbs are not your friend and will exacerbate any existing predisposition you might have.

By the same token, getting blood sugar under control with a healthy diet and exercise, often does wonders for hormones that were thrown out of whack by the same things. I was told if I got PCOS it was irreversible beeause it was a "syndrome" but I did a lot of research and found women who'd changed their entire lifestyle who no longer had PCOS. And if you have absolutely no symptoms of a disease how can you really have that disease in any more than a "superstition" capacity.

Type 2 diabetes is also possible to reverse with extreme lifestyle changes. But some doctors don't even acknowledge this. While a few others who've seen it happen, do.

I think the problem with acting like an illness brought on largely by lifestyle is "irreversible" is that it makes people think: "why bother, I already screwed up" It takes away hope, and that often takes away motivation.

I fully acknowledge that some people have screwed up hormones that they themselves didn't create through weight gain. So I know some people get PCOS before they ever gain weight and then the PCOS causes weight gain, for me...getting to "borderline PCOS" it was the reverse...the weight gain screwed up my hormones.

Also, the first doctor I went to about the hormone stuff, she told me she could tell "just by looking at me" that I had PCOS because I had some symptoms and where my weight gain was and that I needed to lose weight. She said this while being at LEAST 100 pounds overweight.

Needless to say I switched doctors. And the new doctor actually performed the blood work and the ultrasound necessary to diagnose me and I had symptoms but I didn't actually have the type of cysts that make PCOS, PCOS so it was determined I was borderline. I knew I needed to lose weight, but at least I didn't have an obese doctor telling me to do it.

posted by Yoga Nut on the My Fat Spouse Forum

Body Fat is not Magic

There is an idea in the fat movement that body acceptance means simply saying ‘I’m fat, ah well, there’s nothing I can do, and there’s no point trying anyway’.

A more extreme example of this attitude is ‘I’m fat, there’s nothing I can do, and you can’t either. There’s no point trying, and if you do it means you hate yourself. And not only yourself but ALL fat people. If you don’t want to stay like us then you are bad, think we are bad and hate us. You are a sell-out.

I'm not saying people cheat cause their partner gets fat, but...

Most married couples don't maintain hot sex lives. I know this because every married couple I've ever met is shocked that my husband and I seem to still be in the "honeymoon phase" apparently to them the honeymoon phase means physical affection and evidence of mutual sexual attraction. Also 61% of Americans are either obese or overweight.

I'm not saying people cheat cause their partner gets fat, but come on, the numbers aren't really that far out of line with that possibility. Though I'm sure it's far more complex than that.

Posted by Yoga Nut on the My Fat Spouse Forum

Some people can't and shouldn't be monogamous. They've allowed themselves to get into a social agreement that goes against who they are as people, what is required for those people is honesty and perhaps opening the relationship.

For people who want to be monogamous and aren't just under social pressure to be so, then a bad sex life is often the reason a partner goes to get sex somewhere else on the side. That would be the most practical reason for introducing a new sexual partner into their life. Don't you agree?

The level of emotional attachment between partners in an affair is kind of a non-issue, since not all people can have sex detached completely from emotion, and sooner or later most people develop some emotional attachment to the person or persons they are physically intimate with.

But I would venture to say, and I could always be wrong, but I would say statistically, except for those cases where the desire to be monogamous isn't genuine, a couple who has a hot sex life isn't looking elsewhere.

Most human beings have other goals in life besides just sex. If you have a hot sex life with your partner and you have any type of career ambition at all and any free time to yourself, chances are good you don't want to fill it with yet another responsibility.

Relationships are complicated. They become even more complicated when an affair is added to the mix. This is more energy than most people really want to devote and if they were happy at home, they wouldn't be devoting it.

I know this from personal experience not just theory. I was the sole confidant of a friend who had an affair, and I myself was temporarily in an open relationship. The level of energy it takes to maintain two relationships on the sexual level is insane. Especially if it's open (I kind of understand the secret part of affairs because its way too much energy to have to constantly reassure your partners you aren't leaving them for the other.)

Why is this study more scientific when it comes to the fat gene argument?

More scientific study on genetics:
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Diet/story?id=2802503

Why is this study more scientific when it comes to the fat gene argument? Because Scientists studied the actual "fat gene" in 300 different people who became severely obese at a young age.

Only 3% had a "fat gene" problem.

As opposed to the study where people just basically looked at the differences in twins and didn't actually test anyone's hormones.

You might ask why this is more significant. This is only 300 people as opposed to 5,000 sets of twins. Wouldn't the larger number create a better cross section? Not necessarily. You can take a million people and not have proper methodology. i.e. correlation is not the same as causation.

Everyone knows different people have different metabolisms, even in the same household. And respond differently to different foods and amounts of foods, so feeding twins the same amount of food (no actual report on WHAT that food was) doesn't tell anyone much of anything, except what everybody already knows.

We also aren't able to account for what the kids are eating when they aren't at home. i.e. school lunches. Or if they are trading lunches with other kids, or if they are going to friends houses and eating junk and playing nintendo. We just don't know. With a study that large, it's highly unlikely these kids were followed around 24/7. This isn't to say overweight kids are automatically eating "bad" by most people's standards and not exercising, but something in what they are eating is affecting them. We can't just behave as if calories and the contents of those calories is meaningless.

Another problem with the 5,000 report is the fact that they didn't report what the actual food was. (likely because that would be impossible) There are too many variables. i.e. there was likely a wide range of foods served in these households, some of them healthy some of them not.

By focusing on the "fat kid" they're ignoring the possibility that the overweight child might have a normal metabolism and the thin child might have a really fast one.

Bottom line the 5,000 kid study has too many variables, which is probably why there are 5,000 kids to try to balance that out. But with the 300 person study we're isolating the ACTUAL "fat gene." As opposed to just assuming the same environment affecting two different kids differently means "healthy food plus exercise equals fat kids anyway" (actually the study didn't assume that, only the people who read the study)


Yoga Nut is a regular contributer to My Fat Spouse