Yes, this is quite a journey - not only reclaiminng my once fit and attractive body but analyzing my estranged husband's treatment of me as a result of putting on an extraordinary amount of weight - 60 lbs. So far I have lost 15 of it and am very motivated to keep going. Not only for health reasons, and obvious self-esteem benefits but because it is simply something I need to do
I guess I would be more understanding of my husband's position if he had approached the whole issue in a more compassionate and understanding way. His approach has only been very obnoxious and mean-spirited. The nasty looks and very gruff treatment of me when he has brought this up has been very unpleasant.
And while I am certainly not obtuse and realize that you cannot gain a lot of weight and walk around saying "well I am married and take it or leave it" or "well if you loved me you would accept me for how I am". I am fully aware that these are mere copouts said by the overweight person as a demand that their spouse should just be okay with a huge weight gain.
I know I would not be too happy if the shoe were on the other foot and my husband had gotten fat. And again, the problem us heavy-weights must understand is that it is a horse of a different color if the weight gain is beyond one's control and/or from medical reason. Not from personal lack of self-control or will power.
I know in my heart that I will lose every single solitary pound of my weight gain but not for anyone else, but for me.
I only wish my husband had been more loving throughout the process instead of treating me like I have Leprosy.
I don't think I will ever fully manage to rid myself of the memory of his looking at another SLIM woman and when I told him how I felt he said "well, if you weren't heavy I wouldn't have to look" In his mind he was justified !
Good luck to everyone out there !
Posted by Just1229 on the My Fat Spouse forum.