Fattitude - fat·ti·tude [fat-i-tood, -tyood]

In a recent post I listed a few items as examples of what I consider to be 'fatitude'.  Below is my attempt to take it a step further and begin to categorically define the term originally coined by M2.  

Did I get it right? Please post your corrections, additions, deletions, etc.

Fattitude - fat·ti·tude [fat-i-tood, -tyood]

A collection of highly irrational, and often contradictory attitudes, beliefs and expectations about fatness/obesity, its causes and cures, and its role in relationships and society. The degree to which someone agrees with any or all of the following is their level of fattitude:

Examples:

* Believing that becoming obese is a natural, unavoidable and irreversible result of the aging process, exactly the same as getting wrinkles or losing hair. Anyone who manages to avoid this has exceedingly rare genetics and must be a "fitness nut" who lives a very extreme, miserable lifestyle where they are virtual slaves to maintaining their unnatural bodies.

* Believing that obesity is caused by mysterious medical conditions, stress, mean spouses, and a hundred other things that the individual cannot control, but NEVER by laziness or overeating.

* Believing that losing weight through sensible eating and exercise is virtually impossible (see previous).

* No one (spouse, child, parent, sibling, etc) should ever expect or encourage another person to lose weight for any reason whatsoever, whether it be health/longivity, quality of life, attractiveness, etc.

* Believing that it is normal and perfectly acceptable to remain or become fit for the purpose of attracting a spouse, then once you are married, letting yourself go and gaining 50+ pounds. Marriage is a binding contract that requires your spouse to find you attractive no matter how much you let yourself go. If they protest, they should be labeled shallow, immature and narcissistic. Some people may consider this an unethical "bait and switch" but they are just haters and fatists (see below).

* Calling fat rolls and cellulite "curves" and referring to obese females as "real women"

* Having an entitled mentality that fat people should be treated as a protected class.

* Referring to fat people as 'normal' and healthy/fit people as 'thin' or 'skinny'.

* Insisting that regarding fat people as unattractive and/or undeserving of special protection is somehow comparable to racism or homophobia (hence the term 'fatist').

* Insisting that "it's all Hollywood's fault" that most people find a fit healthy body attractive and blubber unattractive. Obese is normal, fit is not.

* Inexplicably claiming that you can somehow be both fat and healthy/fit at the same time.

Posted by RiderX on the

Married with two affairs

I've been lurking around these forums for a while, and feeling slightly better reading all your stories than I'm not alone in my misery. I've been married for 11 years (I married young) to someone who started out thin, attractive, sportsy and energetic, and who is now a very overweight fatling bordering on obesity (she's around 224 pounds for 5 feet 9 inches), who doesn't take care of herself in any manner, stopped doing sports or even going out entirely, has no energy, developed sleep apnea, is working on developing other health issues, and is basically a snappy bitch 24/7. We have two kids, a 8yo boy and a 5yo girl, they're both smart and thin, neither one is fat, they both do a lot of sports outside school and they seem to be happy kids. My wife, besides self-destructing with food and being too lazy to go out and do things with the kids, is a fairly good mother, is good about maintaining a united front with me when we decide something about the kids, cooks healthy meals for them, she loves the kids, they love her back, so I don't want to upset the apple cart. I'm also the sole income source for the family and I've been supporting her for as long as we've been married. I work my ass off while she does nothing all day once the kids are in school, but I've never complained.

However I'm ashamed to do anything with her, I don't want to go out and be seen with her,  every time we talk without the kids around she bitches at me, and when she comes on to me about once a week or so, I am grossed out and pretend to be tired. I feel like I'm on the wrong end of a major bait-and-switch.

I'm thin (170 pounds for 6 feet two) and I'm a pretty smiley and confident person. My wife piled the pounds on quickly after we got married so all that resentment already existed back then, and I had an affair with a thin girl which she never knew about. I put an end to it once I decided to have a family. These days, once in a while attractive women still chat me up and it takes a lot of self-discipline to ignore it. Once I ended up at a convention (I go to a few for my job) in the hotel room of a very attractive, thin, feminine 40yo who had chatted me up, and I said goodnight and walked away. It wasn't easy.

I've had "the talk" with my wife about her weight and my concerns for her health, I've tried all sorts of things, same as everyone here it seems (gym, going on walks, only having healthy food in the house..) and she has all sorts of stalling techniques to avoid directly telling me no, but yet nothing ever happens and my resentment and the feeling I'm wasting my one life keeps building.

Late last year a woman who's close to my feminine ideal flirted with me ("offline", not on the computer) and I finally decided to pursue it. She's knows I'm married, she's thin, mid thirties, feminine, takes care of her looks, only speaks to say something intelligent, and above all she has a great and positive personality. She's got kids of her own and doesn't want to be in a relationship again due to very bad history with men, but still has needs. She also has a power job and interesting stories about it all the time. We became sex buddies and it's still ongoing, it's been over a year now. I can't begin to explain how good it feels to be desired by an attractive, feminine and very smart woman, to the point that I can barely walk in the door of her place before being jumped on. She's not after money (she makes more than I do!), there are no strings attached, no head games, we meet up for sex and that's that. Having this affair has done a lot to restore my self-confidence and blowing off steam from being unwilling to leave my wife since that would also probably mean leaving the kids I adore.

My sex buddy isn't always available, which is normal - she has a job and kids of her own. So this summer I met another woman, also mid thirties, also thin, great looking, with a genuine, very outgoing and energetic personality. Very different looking in every way than my mistress but just as hot. This time I'm the one who pursued her, and, it must be some sort of personal best, even taking into account my sleeping around days before getting married, we went from meeting to being in bed in about 4 hours total. I guess I needed some reassurance that hooking up with that first woman wasn't a fluke, that I could seduce even if the woman didn't give herself up on a platter, and that I am still actually attractive and don't actually deserve to just be with my fatling. She also has a high libido, no kids, single, she does know I'm married, she has a job as well, not after money. She would be happy to enter a relationship but I've told her upfront that I won't leave my family, ever. Yet that affair is also still ongoing.. Again I barely can walk in the door before we end up in bed. In 11 years, even though I support my fatling wife and even do quite a bit around the house, she has never done so much as make me a coffee (a stupid example, I don't need a maid, but just a sign of attention), even when we were dating and she was in the "selling the idea of marriage" period. I thought it was normal and I didn't deserve any attention.. yet both mistresses are full of small attentions, one of them even always has a coffee ready, stirred up and all, when I visit. I purposedly try to avoid an emotional affair so I don't discuss issues or my life much with them, but they're still both much more encouraging and motivating than my legitimate wife. How f-ed up is that.

I call one when the other isn't available, so basically I end up having sex with a thin, feminine girl 4 times a week on average, while remaining married to a bitchy unappreciative entitlement queen fatling, for the sake of the kids. I do use protection all the time. I'm not trying to set myself up to be found out so she takes the decision to divorce and free me - I really will be sticking around to be present for my kids and ensure they grow up healthy and happy like they are now. I guess my main concern is that I feel no guilt whatsoever and that I actually feel so much better about myself.

I have zero hope that my fatling will ever lose the weight, as she is still ballooning up further and using stalling technique after stalling technique to avoid direct confrontation on the issue, or restore her pre-marriage personality; so I have every intention to keep these affairs or even having new ones.

posted by The Trapped Thinling  on

Carlin's Fat Rant Removed!

I am not being an alarmist here but You Tube has removed George's Fat Rant. All other Carlin videos are there. His anti American and anti God videos remain with all their vulgarity but for some reason his anti fat comments and routine are gone.

As you know I am anti censorship but we are in an information war here. We need to go on the attack. We need to shut down and or hinder people in the FA movement. We need to give those bastards constipation. WE ARE THE MINORITY! We are becoming oppressed and censored. It is happening incrementally and more and more political correctness is invading our already decadent and dishonest culture.

I really really like My Fat Spouse but it only speaks to one issue that can be easily solved simply by dumping the spouse who refuses to not be fat. I really feel for the children in these households. They didn't ask to be born to selfish and greedy parents whose food lust trumps their parental responsibility. They have no voice and they have no choice. My grand childrens' grand parents on their mother's side are eating themselves to death. They both suffer the comorbidities associated with obesity. I don't want my grand kids exposed to that. I don't want them riding in a car with a driver who has one foot in the grave. I don't want them seeing the behaviors of cardiac cripples. I don't want them attending their funerals when they are still little kids.

Maybe MFS should think about expanding its mission... but maybe not. I used to attend Alanon meetings. One groups was an adult children's group. When that groups disbanded (most were out of town college kids) I went to a mixed group where most of the people were spouses. They drove me nuts! You were not supposed to give advice and we were told that we were as sick as the drunk. That was a load of crap. One evening I could not take the whining and I told this whining woman that the odds of her abusive drunk of a husband of reforming were slim and none and that she had better get while the gettin is good. It just pissed me off that people who were being abused by a brutal drunk were told that part of it was somehow their fault. This entire blame the victim mentality needs to stop. That abused woman did not choose to be abused and her behavior due to the crap society had filled her head with became so segregated from her rational emotions that she some how came to believe that her stinking cowardly drunk of a husband was drinking and beating her because some BS blue book told her that she had some how enabled him to do it. Her rational behavior that would be consistent with her rational emotions would be to douse her abusive husband in gasoline while he sleeps and roast him to death providing she were afraid to leave him.

Perhaps there should be support groups for spouses who are married to a fatling. Fattanon? Hmm sounds pretty good. We need to make the rules. We need to create the popular notions. We need to boldly tell the unpopular truth. As you know I do all that and I meet with resistance for those truth and for my personal style.

If you are married to a fatling then chances are you were deceived and now you feel stuck, betrayed and gypped. Those are rational feelings and you need not apologize for them but on the other hand fatlings DO need to apologize for their size and for the size of their gluttony. While you are married to a fatling you are indeed a victim. When you leave or if that fatling reforms then you can consider yourself a survivor.

They censored a voice of reason like George Carlin. Don't let them censor you.

C.G. Brady posted this on the My Fat Spouse Social Network

Questions for the Intellectually Honest

For the past 30 years or more Americans have gotten fatter and fatter and fatter and there seems to be no end in sight is spite of the fact that there is a multi billion dollar weight loss industry and a national weight loss frenzy.

Obviously when you look at the dismal numbers we can see that in spite of the billions dollars spent nothing seems to be working. That being the case I have some questions for anyone wanting to share their thoughts with me.

Obviously overweight people over eat. Agree? Disagree? Why?

Eating is a conscience behavior. Agree? Disagree? Why?

The laws of physics ie conservation of mass apply to human bodies. Agree? Disagree? Why?

Most people who try to lose weight and keep it off fail. Agree? Disagree? Why?

Dieters rarely continue to do the things to lose weight and keep it off. Agree? Disagree? Why?

Is that fact that most dieters fail to lose weight and keep it off and make the lifestyle changes a matter of CAN'T or is it a matter of won't.

Your thoughts?


posted by M2 on the My Fat Spouse Forum

The Failure of Your Fat Spouse's Doctor by C.G. Brady

Over the past 35 years the medical profession has gone from a group of healers to a group of self serving rich bums. That's right, the vary group that has sworn to do no harm manages to kill 130,000 patients per year through its countless blunder and lack of concern for the health and well being of the people it claims to serve. Often fat people turn to these charlatans for help for their obesity and these charlatans have nothing to offer them that works and why should they? Fat people mean BIG $$$$$ for Dr Greed. Fat people require much more medical care than lean people and the medical profession knows this all to well. Fat cows are cash cows.

The normal spouse will often get accused of being an enabler but we all know that is simply a blame the victim tactic employed by society and the fat spouse. The biggest enablers are the doctor and the medical science community. Yeah I know medical science is a bit of a oxymoron. Doctors are constantly salving fat patients with their Bandaid approach by treating the symptoms of gluttony instead of its cause as result the fat patient reasons that if the Deity/doctor can't help them than they certainly cannot help themselves. This attitude is further buttressed by the junk science reported in the press that there is some chemical in the brains of mice that causes humans to get fat. Maybe someone need to tell the mice that because so far there is no obesity epidemic in the mouse community.