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Showing posts with label Sexual Incompatibility. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sexual Incompatibility. Show all posts

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Why Did You Get Divorced






Ask this question to your divorced friends. Was it money? Fall out of love? Religion? Housekeeping? Was it cheating? There are so many reasons why people good people get divorced. Is it really any worse to divorce over a spouse's refusal to do anything about their weight problem?

Here are some frequently cited reasons for causing divorce:

Lack of commitment to the marriage
Lack of communication between spouses
Infidelity
Abandonment
Alcohol Addiction
Substance Abuse
Physical Abuse
Sexual Abuse
Emotional Abuse
Inability to manage or resolve conflict
Personality Differences or ‘irreconcilable differences’
Differences in personal and career goals
Financial problems
Different expectations about household tasks
Different expectations about having or rearing children
Interference from parents or in-laws
Lack of maturity
Intellectual Incompatibility
Sexual Incompatibility
Insistence of sticking to traditional roles and not allowing room for personal growth
Falling out of love
Religious conversion or religious beliefs
Cultural and lifestyle differences
Inability to deal with each other’s petty idiosyncrasies
Mental Instability or Mental Illness
Criminal behavior and incarceration for crime


Obesity certainly causes and contributes to sexual incompatibility. I'm guessing obesity is the least talked about reason for divorce. Whatever the reason for the failure of your marriage just remember. Nobody can make you feel better about yourself and you can’t change and save anybody. As someone wise once said, it takes two wholes to make a marriage, not two halves.

Smallwife posted this on the My Fat Spouse forum

Monday, September 5, 2011

He has not touched me in almost 3 yrs!!!


Hi! I am semi new here I used to lurk on the site before it went down. I'm happy to see your up and running again. I am going crazy and I want to try and understand what has happened to my marriage.  I am dying inside because of it. My husband of almost 15 yrs doesn't want sex. I am too fat for him ( 4 11 1/2 and now 189.5lbs... -17lbs) and while I am losing weight for a myriad of reasons it does include him. I am not an ugly girl but I want to just sit and cry- there is NO intimacy. He just doesn't get it. He doesn't understand my need and makes me feel like  nympho if I just even touch him. I hurt over this. I love him! We are THE best of friends yet I feel quilty over wanting intimacy! Can you guess where my self esteem is??? The toilet.

He has not touched me in almost 3 yrs!!! Before that (on my BD) he gave me what I would call "mercy sex". Nothing for *me* mind you... just the wham bam and I should just be happy. Before that one incident it had been over 18 months. In our marriage we have barely ever had sex - esp the last 10 years or so. I have 2 kids with him 7 and 8 but God must have done miracles because it was only great timing that led to those.  

I worry that he will still keep this up even if I go through the pain of losing wieght. I keep hoping it will change! I want a love life - it is not even just about sex. I want to feel loved, adored and cared for. Am I asking too much? Anyone else out there feeling fat and ugly because of this? I look at even larger girls and wonder... is she getting loved? Does every man who is upset about his wife's weight refuse to have sex with her? Refuse affection? What is wrong with me??? 

posted by AmyB34 


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