Hi! I am semi new here I used to lurk on the site before it went down. I'm happy to see your up and running again. I am going crazy and I want to try and understand what has happened to my marriage. I am dying inside because of it. My husband of almost 15 yrs doesn't want sex. I am too fat for him ( 4 11 1/2 and now 189.5lbs... -17lbs) and while I am losing weight for a myriad of reasons it does include him. I am not an ugly girl but I want to just sit and cry- there is NO intimacy. He just doesn't get it. He doesn't understand my need and makes me feel like nympho if I just even touch him. I hurt over this. I love him! We are THE best of friends yet I feel quilty over wanting intimacy! Can you guess where my self esteem is??? The toilet.
He has not touched me in almost 3 yrs!!! Before that (on my BD) he gave me what I would call "mercy sex". Nothing for *me* mind you... just the wham bam and I should just be happy. Before that one incident it had been over 18 months. In our marriage we have barely ever had sex - esp the last 10 years or so. I have 2 kids with him 7 and 8 but God must have done miracles because it was only great timing that led to those.
I worry that he will still keep this up even if I go through the pain of losing wieght. I keep hoping it will change! I want a love life - it is not even just about sex. I want to feel loved, adored and cared for. Am I asking too much? Anyone else out there feeling fat and ugly because of this? I look at even larger girls and wonder... is she getting loved? Does every man who is upset about his wife's weight refuse to have sex with her? Refuse affection? What is wrong with me???
posted by AmyB34