Hi - I have been lurking in the background for a year or so - this is my first post. I am looking for some advice without being labeled a jerk for thinking that physical appearance matters - I'm pretty sure this is the place. First, let me describe my situation:
Needless to say, while she has expressed a desire to lose weight, she has yet to do so. I have tried to motivate her in every way I can think of without risking harm to myself. Specifically, I have purchased a gym membership together, I ask her to run everytime I go, I try to set a good example (I trained for and ran a marathon a few months ago), I have gotten her magazine subscriptions (healthy cooking, women's health), and have been totally positive about what she does do. Recently, she told me that she wants to go to a beach for spring break and wear a bikini.
Unfortunately, since then, what has been done is very little. She keeps coming up with excuses as to why she isn't doing anything. At first, she was too busy with work, then she quit her job to go back to school - so then she was too busy with school, she was sick, her let hurt, always something. Here's what I see: she likes to take a lot of "breaks" and play games, watch tv, etc. While she takes these breaks, she likes to snack. Also, that gym membership - she goes about once every two months. The bottom line is - I can see she is not doing anything, and at this rate, she is not going near a beach come spring. My question is this: How long should I wait until I throw in the towel? She says she wants to lose the weight - but I can't wait forever. As an aside, she has been talking about getting married lately - and though I would never tell her this, I will not even think about it unless she loses the weight. I hate feeling this way - why do I feel like a jerk wanting her to be fit?