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Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Great boyfriend but no sex life...

My current boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for almost 4 years.

When we first got together I figured it was going to be a temporary fling. We were/are good friends and had a lot of fun together. I had just gotten out of a 10 year relationship and wasn't thinking in the long term.

He has always been fat although he has gained since we have been together. He's a good 50-70lbs overweight. I never brought it up as I just didn't figure we would last long enough for me to have the right to say anything.

He goes back and forth with eating right and living clean. Then he's back on the soda pop and smoking weed and spending every minute in front of the tv. He makes much of his diet effort my responsibility. If I don't hold his hand with everything he has no self will.

I'm 5' 10 and 135lbs. He's 5'10 and somewhere between 250 and 270.

As it's turned out we have lasted way longer than I would have thought and I do love him very much. I'm entering my thirties and my clock is ticking, I want children but not with a fat person. He has a son who is obese. I just don't want that for my kids. And I don't want a father that puts his health at risk either.

We are no longer having sex. He doesn't even TRY to initiate. And in turn I'm relieved because I just can't stand the weight. His weight makes sex awkward.

How can I approach this at this point in the relationship?? Had I ever thought we would have lasted this long, I wouldn't have waited so long to jump on this subject. I just can't take the fat anymore. Or the laziness that goes along with it.

Posted by plulu on Matilda Tuesday's My Fat Spouse Forum

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