For argument's sake, let's say the fat spouse commits to a program that will result in her regaining an appearance that will be pleasing to the fit spouse. When I say commits, I mean steady, reasonable progress like 1 pound per 100 pounds of body weight lost per week is being made. Given what you some of you have said about your wives' weight, it may take a year or longer for her to lose the desired amount of weight.
At what point do you love her again? What do you do to get rid of the anger and resentment and how long will that take? Will you even be able to get rid of the resentment? If she doesn't look the same as before she gained the weight, but has achieved her best (acceptable BMI, as toned as possible), will you hold on to your resentment or hold back on your love for her? Will your marriage ever be loving and intimate or will the past always be a wall between you? Will you bring up her past weight and/or punish her forever for having been fat? Do you start showing her respect and love while she is losing weight or do you remain reserved until she has lost all the weight? Do you do anything positive to show you have noticed her changes while she is working at it?
|Rose on the My Fat Spouse Forum|