My Own Twisted Version of Thinspiration

I've been lurking and thought it was time to introduce myself.

First off, great site! I sympathize with many of the spouses on here, it must be so disheartening to see your love buried under mounds of butter.

I come here for my own twisted version of thinspiration. Am trying to lose weight, typical story, emotional eating and bad choices through my pregnancies left me with some extra poundage. I am starting to feel much happier in my skin, so that is great for me.

Back in the summer (July) my husband gave me a once over look when I came out of the shower and said in his no nonsense voice "we need to lose weight". I was crushed. My youngest was four months old and although I didn't recognize it at the time I was stuck in postpartum depression. For a week all I could think was "he doesn't want me. he doesn't want me." I was totally heartbroken and he didn't even realize it. I went to visit my sister, who is gorgeous, healthy, and thin. She has also been through the wringer with depression issues. We had a heart to heart and she told me how much better she feels with the weight off and getting her "runners high" a couple times a week. She inspired me, I wanted to feel and look good too! I wanted my husband to think I was damn sexy. Be proud of me! So I was doing it for myself and for him. And my kids. I wanted out of that depression, and not with drugs. I wanted them to have a healthy, happy mommy who would run around and chase them, not sit on the couch mindlessly watching cartoons with them all day.

I went home and had a talk with my husband. To this day he maintains that he meant we both need to lose weight, not to hurt my feelings or tell me to. Now he is no fitness superstar, small paunch beginning... darn beer! Despite what he says, I truly think what really went on was he was being straight with me. And knows me well enough to get that if he pissed me off just right I'd get myself slimmed down

We didn't have any heart to hearts or mushy anything. He didn't give me an ultimatum. He didn't say you are disgusting. But I told him what my goals were/are and how I intended to get there and what he could do to help me. All I wanted from him was support. If he sees a difference in my body, say something. If I tell him I hit a milestone, 5, 10, 15, 20 pounds and share that with him I'd like him to tell me that he thinks it's great! I did not want him watching my food -- I know exactly what I am eating. If I want to go for a run he needs to watch the kids. And not complain about it! It's been wonderful. I don't need encouragement from him every day. But the other day when he said "your jeans are falling off! let's go get you a new pair that fit better, show off that ass." I can't tell you how great it made me feel.

So now I am a work in progress. Hi everybody!
I hope there is something in this story that will be helpful to someone.

Do or do not. There is no try. -Jedi Master Yoda 

Posted by fightlike_agirl 

on Matilda Tuesday's My Fat Spouse Forum