I will also say that I do not believe that any fat person should be persecuted by strangers, let alone family and loved ones for being fat. (Trust me, it doesn't work) I don't believe that anyone WANTS to be fat or gets fat on purpose.
What I do believe is that a person cannot make changes for someone else, no matter how much they love them, they can only make changes for themselves. A big part of having the inner ability to change is love of self. Many fat people do not love themselves, nor do they believe that they are deserving of love, but they are wrong. Every human being on this earth deserves to be loved. That is why I read FA blogs. If I can learn to accept myself and love myself the way I am now, I have a better chance of making changes to my lifestyle. I think that FA does good work in this area.
I also believe that a fat person can be healthy. I have been fat for most of my life and I have not one physical ailment. Not diabetic, not hypertensive, no high blood pressure, no crumbling joints, etc. I am not AS healthy as a tri-athelete, but I am not in imminent medical danger either. I work out. I have been with a personal trainer for over a year now and the benefits I see from it are amazing. I am very proud of how far my endurance and physical strength have come, but, guess what? I'm still fat.
What I don't see a lot of here (and I have only been here for a day, so if it's somewhere, let me know) is the address of the mental issues that cause or are a result of fat. Could it be possible that there are deep lying emotional issues that cause your spouses to get or hold onto their fat? I would hate to see the girlfriend of the gentleman who posted that she is sexually out of shape get kicked to the curb for eating candy bars. Someone even mentioned that perhaps she was embarrassed by the whole situation and was placating herself with the chocolate. That was the only emotionally/mentally geared post that I read. Again, maybe I am reading in the wrong places...
I guess what this all boils down to is I don't hate you because you are not fat, please don't hate me because I am. You don't know where I have been or where I am going, you don't know if I have just lost 50 pounds or gained 100. Let me love myself and if you are my family, friend or lover treat me with humanity and respect. Encourage me to get the the heart of the matter, whatever that matter may be.
Posted Anonymously on the My Fat Spouse forum
Thursday, November 18, 2010
I'm not here to rumble...
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