I was there with some of my girlfriends who talked me into approaching him. Now I’m not saying I’m the hottest thing going, but back then – I was much similar to most college girls: work out, watch what I eat, etc. I approached him, asked for his number and we went out. It was almost love at first sight – as he told me he had his eye on me all night, similar to the thoughts I had about him.
That was the summer of 1988, and we married in the spring of 1989. 17 years, two children, three dogs and a cat later and we are still married … for the moment.
Here is my dilemma and the problem I need help with: about six or seven years ago, my husband began living a life separate from mine. He stopped going to the gym with me shortly after our two children were born, he began bringing home and eating junk food (previously NOT allowed in our home) and he found sweat pants! You now - the ONE PAIR OF BAD, GRAY SWEAT PANTS! Crotch worn, dirty, stained, and smelly!
I didn’t think too much of it at first – as we were busy with children, ball games, babysitters and so forth. But, I now find myself in need of help. I still belong and go to the same gym we have had our membership at for all these years. I am actually 10 pounds lighter than the day I married him. I am much more fit, toned, trim and – in my opinion – keeping up with the rest of the ladies my age. I do this for myself and for him/our marriage. He, on the other hand, is now 100 pounds heavier than the day we met, wears the same clothes he has worn for years – until the waist band no longer fits and then we just buy bigger, bad clothing. He belches and he farts around, not only the neighbors, friends and my children but me as well. He takes a shower about twice a week. He hasn’t been to the gym with me in years and worst of all, we NEVER have sex any more.
I am frustrated! I have guys checking me out at the grocery store. It makes me feel good. I have guys ask me out when I go out with the girls for a drink after work, despite my wedding ring on. Total strangers give me compliments I haven’t heard from my husband in years. This summer, I have had enough!
I have shared my feelings with my co-workers (all of them completely grossed out by him at this point) and girlfriends and they have encouraged me to take it to the next level.
I have made subtle hints to him over the past couple of years, getting stronger and stronger with my language as the months go by. Recently, however, at the suggestion of my best friend, I finally dropped the bomb!
“IF YOU DON’T SHAPE UP AND GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER, I'M GONE!"
I am tired of having no life! I am tired of not feeling appreciated. And I am really, really tired of missing the days when we were both attractive, sexy and turned on by one another. I miss sex!
I’m asking for your help and I am very serious. You must have listeners who are going though something similar. With nearly 60% of the population categorized as overweight, I can’t be alone.
What are some of the things they’ve tried to get their spouse in shape? What are ways they use to get them to lose weight?
I am so nervous about this and I would really appreciate your thoughtfulness on this matter.
Posted by Frustrated Wife on the My Fat Spouse Forum.