I've been lurking on this board for a while. I'm a 32 year old woman and I used to be obese. Why did I lurk here? Well, I was so convinced that I was unloveable as a fat woman that this board was a good reminder of that and it fueled my self-loathing that kept me motivated. Thing is - I was never lazy and I never stuffed my face with junk food. I used to wake up at 4:30 am, go to the gym for an hour before work, go to the gym again after work for at least another hour, and keep my calories around 1300-1400. I tracked every single calorie - and most were from healthy foods. I ran half marathons, biked constantly, etc. And I was always over 200 pounds.
I was also chronically exhausted - so exhausted that I couldn't even be bothered to clean up my home properly. If I went out with my friends I would have to leave early and be in bed by 11pm.
Meanwhile, my doctors kept insisting that nothing was wrong with me except laziness and overeating and I was in denial. But the standards for diagnosing thyroid disease vary really, really widely and you have to find a doctor who is aware of the full range of tests and the new standards for diagnosing. I finally, demanded a full thyroid panel and found a doctor who diagnosed me in 2 minutes looking at the bloodwork. Starting on the right medication has been a godsend - I've already dropped 20 pounds and my energy is back and I'm losing the rest.
I'm telling you guys this because I know you want to believe your spouses are just lazy and disgusting pigs - but some of them really, truly might have thyroid problems. The depression, apathy, laziness, malaise, and weight gain are all symptoms of that.
I know you guys are a nasty bunch and I know you'll probably slam me for this. But I am truly hoping that maybe my experience can help someone else. You need to insist that the doctor run a full thyroid panel - TSH, T4, Free T4, T3, Free T3 and TPO-AB, among others. Know what numbers to look for. A TSH over 3 (some even say 2) can be indicative of subclinical hypothyroidism.
I never used my disease as an excuse - I blamed myself for not trying hard enough. But the truth is that I was very sick.
Maybe this will help someone here who is banging their head against a wall.