I know somebody out there can relate to me, but I feel sooooo trapped by my husbands lack pride. I mean the good kind of pride and respect that every good husband should have. He refuses to take care of his physical appearance. We have been married 26 years and he has been fat/obese for the last 15 years. He is 5' 8" and over 300 lbs., and refuses to do a thing about it. I am to the point of having an aversion to him when he touches me; I pull away as a reaction, not that I want to be cold but I can't help how I feel. I am soooo grossed out by him that I just want to run away and hide and sometimes cry. Not only is he obese but his physical hygiene is lacking also. He has an odor that he gets that is driving me crazy when he doesn't bathe on a daily basis. When I do tell him about losing weight and showering, he just dismisses/ignores me, or gets really angry and makes me feel like I am a horrible person for even bringing anything up that has to do with his weight. I have no desire to snuggle with him because he smells and is sweaty but he expects me to, but I am human and I can't stand it anymore. The best way to describe my husband just so you can get a mental picture of what I am dealing with is he reminds me exactly of Jaba the Hut the starwars character. He can't move well and he acts like he has the energy of a slug; who would want to cuddle with that? I can't do it. Am I a bad person for feeling that way? I feel like life is passing me by and I cannot enjoy it. Just so you know I would not be so hyprocritical as to ask him to lose weight and excerise if I didn't perscribe to the same. I work hard at keeping my weight down. I excercise 3 times a week and have maintained my weight at 105 lbs for years with a height of 5' 2". The way I look at is is that we need to take care of our bodies and look the best that we can and not allow fat to control our lives and become it's servant willingly. I am not allowed to speak about his weight, it is forbidden in the home. I don't think there's anything I can do, but live with a husband that doesn't care about himself. This is my miserable existance that I have become bound to.
Posted by "Pits4ever" on the My Fat Spouse forum