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Saturday, November 21, 2009

My Fat Spouse is a Support Group

I think this website is great and offers to many people that are at their wits end with a loved ones self-destructive behavior.

This is no different that support groups for alcoholics and drug addicts.

Food addiction is a huge problem in our society, yet people are too sensitive about anyone speaking about it.

Overweight people, in my opinion, are very unhappy, especially with themselves and facing the truth and being brutally honest with themselves is almost unbearable.

I am a former fattie that was extremely depressed and loathed myself everyday when I had to look in the mirror. I hated thin, sexy women because I was so envious and jealous.

I hated sex because I was so ashamed of my body, allowing my spouse to see me nude was very, very difficult. I felt as if I didn't deserve to have an intimate relationship because I was overweight, thus I pushed everyone out of my life and was dependant on food for any temporary happiness.

I always knew that my fat was my big problem which created a lot of problems in my life. I didn't want to get out in public due to shame. I didn't go around family because I didn't want them to see and talk about how much weight I had gained. It was very hard.

I had to wake up and take personal responsiblity for my sitution, it was time to stop blaming my childhood, my family, my co-workers, etc for my behavior. They weren't shoving food down my mouth....I was.

It's a vicious cycle...hating myself for being fat and lazy...then eating to feel better...gaining more weight...which lead to more depression...ate more to numb out the depression...on and on and on.

Let's face it, change is difficult but very possible. I changed because I was sick and tired and being sick and tired of myself. I lost the weight and got in shape and gained self-esteem, self-love, and happiness.

I have much empathy for overweight people stuck in the dark cycle of food addiction. And for the spouses of overweight people that wait and hope for a positive change.

But when a spouse starts losing respect for the overweight person then the anger and hurt boil to the surface, which can motivate the overweight spouse, or make them rebellious.

Living with a fat, depressed person is hard. Hugs to everyone in this situation.

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