Jerk or Nag?
A lot of effort has gone into making sure that no one is allowed to question the fact that their wife or husband has become fat. Everyone who speaks up on an internet forum is quickly beaten down. When reading these posts and articles, it is obvious that many people are desperate and will imply that a spouse that questions his wife or husbands weight is calloused, insensitive, non loving, and even abusive.
What becomes apparent when reading the attacks, is that even the authors, do not really believe in them. You can tell by the tone, that these are overweight people trying to silence the critics in fear that someday the husband will come home and say "honey I am tired of your big fat ass sitting on the couch getting bigger!, get in shape or get out of my life!"
YOU ARE COMPLETELY RIGHT IN EXPECTING YOUR WIFE OR HUSBAND TO LOSE WEIGHT, AND TO TRY TO BE ATTRACTIVE TO YOU.
Attempts at drowning out dissent, and trying censorship are over with this site, the game is up! We now have a place to band together without the criticism.
Additionally there is another aspect to this discussion that has been intentionally drowned out. It is the simple fact that if your spouse has become overweight since you have become married, and you are not overweight, you are completely justified in being disappointed in your spouse.
The reason you have not heard or seen this statement before is because of all the fat people trying to drown out the facts, as a result it is hard to get any information out! I know you have been made to feel guilty in thinking the way you do, but you should not. This "feeling guilty" is an intentional ploy attempted by a large segment of the population, to shift blame away from their own behavior. The only reason, you so rarely hear this message, is because overweight people out number non-fat people. Rest assured, you are not wrong in your expectation that your spouse to be a similar body type to yours and here is why.
1. Spouses should try to be attractive to each other; if you are going the extra yard to stay in shape it is not unreasonable to expect your spouse to do the same. A wife or husband that turns into an unattractive blob is being inconsiderate of their mate. No excuses should be accepted. Enough with the genetics, glands, and my medication cop outs!
2. Why is everything else a legitimate subject to bring up between spouses, except weight? Drug Use, House Work, Money, Raising of the Children even Cigarette Smoking and Alcohol Use are fair game to bring up, but why not weight! There is a simple answer; there are so many fat people in this country that they have successfully taken this subject off the table with pure intimidation.
3. Being overweight affects the economics of the household. Their is the obvious the fact that overweight people often consume more food, they also cost more to insure, go to the doctor more often, and on the extreme end need extra accommodations such as electric carts, and special furniture. Not to mention the fact that overweight people make significantly less than "healthy" weight people and studies prove it.
4. Being overweight affects your health. Duh! You would have to be living in a cave not to know this, but we all run around pretending like this fact does not exist. Being overweight greatly increases the chances of a myriad of diseases. Imagine the effects of a family when a parent gets sick or dies because of an addiction to overeating. This is a selfish behavior, but because of “hyper sensitivity" of fat people, no one is allowed to reveal this information. A spouse is perfectly in their rights to nag morning noon and night every time there wife or husband lights up a cigarette. In this regard, there is no discussion about being "sensitive" to your significant other's feelings, or being "supportive". Imagine the back lash if a wife were to post that she was making her husband eat his chips and junk food on the back porch or in the garage, as cigarette smokers are commonly made to do.
Let’s face it, if all this "supportive", gentle persuasion crap was working we would not have these big hippos sitting on the couch. The time for tact is over; overweight spouses should no longer be insulated from the consequences of their own actions. Do not feel guilty; feel disappointed in your own spouses failure to care about appearing attractive to you.