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Sunday, June 23, 2013

A Good Place to Start

Well, I suppose this is as good a place as any for my first post! I too have been browsing this forum for a few days now and decided I may as well take the plunge and register. I couldn't believe it when this site popped up, I was frustrated and at work one day, I typed in "my fat husband" into google just to see what would come up and it brought me here! I must confess at first I thought that it was a site dedicated to fat spouse bashing in a bad way but then when I started reading the posts I could see that there are people on here who genuinely care for their spouse and want them to be healthy. I'm so relieved to find a bunch of like-minded individuals ( I don't mean that I would wish these situations on any of you...just that I now know that I'm not alone). So here's my story, I'll try and keep it short n' sweet!

I'm in my 30's and have been married for 9 years, together for about 10. My hubby and I had a great relationship to begin with but it all started to go bad about 4 or 5 yrs ago. He started really putting on the weight and I stared worrying about his health (he smokes too). Tried to be supportive, sympathetic, a good role model etc but to no avail. We sleep in separate rooms, have done for a couple of years now because of his REALLY bad snoring and haven't had sex in about 4 yrs. I'm not attracted to him and will not force myself to do the deed for anything, suffice to say I used to miss it but don't anymore.

He is about 300 lbs and in complete denial and has an excuse for everything; has even tried to blame me partially for his continued weight gain as my lack of showing affection for him makes him eat more! I'm sooooooo tired, mentally and emotionally. I really do love him and want the best for him but am coming to the realization that he has to want that for himself too. We're at the point where we are trying counselling but it's still early days.

It blows my mind that someone would purposely hurt themselves and destroy their health in this manner. I know that he doesn't feel good about himself, so why doesn't he do something about it??!!

As a side any of your spouses know that you're on this website? My husband would be mortified! I feel so guilty about this, it's like every key stroke is a stab in his back. I'm petrified that he will find this and know it's me, that's why I'm trying to keep the info to a minimum. I think though that the loneliness of dealing with this situation outweighs the fear of being found out!

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