I've been thinking of obesity as something closer to an illness lately. I don't know if this has had any effect on my relationship, I'm sure it hasn't, but I remember hearing somebody talk about seeking treatment for depression a long time ago. They were having trouble getting an appointment with a therapist and they said, "what if I had a broken leg? Would you see me then?". This may be an old argument, but depression and obesity have more in common than just one causing the other. If your spouse had a back injury and you knew that if they didn't do the physical therapy it would get worse, would you encourage them? If your spouse had been in a cat accident and had broken their legs and the doctor prescribed physical therapy would you make sure they went to those appointments. I understand many people don't change until they have to. In fact many people don't take weight loss seriously until their health is seriously threatened or their spouse leaves them. I haven't looked it up, but I bet diabetes and divorce cause more weight loss than Atkins.
Guilty? Yeah I'm sure most of us feel guilty bringing this up. It hurts. It hurts the ones we love. Would you feel guilty if your spouse had a bad back, but wouldn't do the physical therapy the doctor prescribed. What if they just sat on the couch and watched television, their problem got worse and then they had to get surgery and their condition worsened to the point that you become a care taker. Would you have guilt for not making them get up and do what needed to be done?
Has anybody anywhere in your life kept on you to do something you didn't want to do? A coach? A teacher? A friend? Your Boss? Your parents? Did they feel guilty for making you the person you are today? Did they feel guilty for making you work harder? For telling you you were not meeting their expectations? For convincing you you could do better? Well I understand the power relationship is different in a marriage of "equals", but in the end wouldn't we want somebody to push us into a better life style, rather than leave us sitting on the couch watching the biggest loser on television and feeling horrible.