I've been lurking for a while reading the post of the slim spouses to help me better understand my husbands feelings. You see I am the fat spouse or should I say was the fat spouse. WARNING! This will be a long post so grab a drink and get comfortable. I've been married for almost 16 years to a man that works very hard, knows how to fix everything, takes good care of his family, brings home his paycheck every Friday, and doesn't want to go hang out with "the guys". The problem is he has no tact and is about as subtle as a train wreck. I'm one of those people that certain member snicker at and doubt I have had hypothyroidism for more than 10 years( meds started 01/99 0.25 mcgs now 300 mcgs). I gained about 30 pounds while pg with first child and no matter how much excercise or diet that first 30 pounds would not budge. Our son was not even six months old when my husband started letting me know that he wasn't happy with the weight and that all men want an attractive woman on their arm. He knew about the hypo he knew I was exercising he knew I was making healthy meals but the weight stayed so he accused me of eating junk behind his back. Fastforward a few years to the birth of our daughter and add another 35 pounds he let me know he was embarrassed to be seen with me but any time I laid in bed next to him he became a horn dog and it really irked me. I don't like hypocrites. Go ahead a couple more years I'm taking care of my disabled father in my house it was a stressful time and I'm a stress eater, no ones fault but mine. Add another 20 pounds. Suddenly I was so fat that I had no feeling, at least in hubbies eyes. He said something mean and hateful everyday. I'm sorry to those of you who's spouses refuse to listen when you speak to them about their health, they are wrong to do that, but for my hubby it was never about health it was always about image. Finally after trying a combination of my meds, alternative medicine, and supplement my thyroid has leveled out and my weight began to come off and now 1 year later I've lost 75 pounds. And you know what? My husband is not happy because now Im getting a lot of attention from men, I do not initiate it I do not ask for it but it happens everyday. So it was my fault for getting fat, and my fault for getting slim. I need new clothes, he wants me to wear my old ones because they cover more. He's mad that although the rest of me slimmed down my chest stays a d cup. He's mad that our teenage sons friend called me a milf. He's mad that I got I.d.'d when we went out( I'm 39) he is a true example of be careful what you wish for. I made a big change in myself hoping that it would bring peace but still there's drama. So I guess my question is, does he need reassurance that I'm not going anywhere, does he feel threatened( my friends say this),or is he just being a jerk? It's so weird to say that although I love my husband I don't really like him very much right now.