It is always easier to point a finger at someone else...

"It is always easier to point a finger at someone else though instead of looking inward to deal with your own faults and shortcomings."

Yes it is, the whole fat movement is built on this.....right well that's that one sorted then.

Its not blaming all of the marriage faults on the obese spouse. Its the spouse has become obese, which then causes problems.

But she is right, i really wish the people on this site would get over their selfishness of wanting their partners to...you know...stay alive.

This goes to show the victimhood mentality. It seems like this person thinks that fit spouses just blame everything that goes wrong on the obese one.

That's crap, the obesity ITSELF causes problems.

Worries about health, (eventual) medical bills, also sex lives suffer, the obese spouses sex DRIVE suffers or they get sexual problems (thinking its immature to want a sex life is itself immature, the phrases 'why are you so pissed off? Not getting any at home?' were made for a reason, because sex is a human need and people can grow frustrated (especially if celibacy is FORCED on them by a partner who can't have sex (or an enjoyable experience with it) due to their lifestyle, and doesn't seem at all interested in changing that), hence the term sexual frustration), wondering why a person is more interested in their destructive lifestyle then staying healthy etc

Also that whole 'its whats inside, not the package' line again doesn't work, simply because (i assume its a women writing) if the personality her husband has was in a woman, she would NOT become a lesbian to be with that personality. She would want it in a mans body to be in an intimate relationship with it, so the package DOES matter.

And again, there is more then just personality at play in relationships because a person whos personality you like is called a FRIEND, and people aren't all in relationships for only a friend, because they have friends for that.

Different people have different roles. The love for a child, is different to love of a parent, which is different to love of a friend, which is different to love of a partner etc

A partner is also your SEXUAL partner. Not just 'a nice person you hang out with'. And people need to be turned on too have sex, not just flick a switch.

Also 'putting their spouse before their own selfish wants and needs'??

The obese spouses of the people on this site are the ones putting food and laziness ahead of looking after their relationship, then saying 'well you have to love me anyway', err hello, THAT'S selfish.

How is a person who has put up with that for sometimes 20+ years and STILL trying to help 'selfish'??

This is pure sympathy factor typical stuff. The obese spouse must be the nice kind one, and the fit spouse must be the bully.

Fit spouses are NOT blaming every problem that comes along on the obese spouse. The obese spouses obesity CAUSES problems, and obviously people are going to be unhappy when that person then shows no interest in solving the problem, and you have movements like the fat movement trying to convince people that any move made to help, isn't help, but hate.

And then they go and wonder why people are on here asking for help after all that?

Geez.




Posted by A101 on the My Fat Spouse Forum