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Saturday, July 11, 2009

Another clipping from the forum! MFS is rather unpopular among FA types and they occasionally just plain lose it and wish we all would die. I really love the way Mary45 responded to this. You can read the whole thread by clicking here


Brambles wrote: 
I can't believe there is a forum like this for people who hate their spouses. I hope you all die in your unhappy marriages. Please buy plenty of life insurance. Your wives deserve some compensation.


and Mary46 responded:

Brambles, hold it right there now and take a deep breath. This forum is not necessarily about you and no-one is forcing you to read any of the posts. You are free to come and go just as you please. However, before you start passing judgement on the folks here you need to dig deeper, and look beyond your personal biases even if it might hurt you. If you are what we bluntly call a fat spouse yourself, then brace yourself and be prepared for an extremely uncomfortable read. 

Here are some facts for you - and you are welcome to dispute them with counter-arguments but please try and refrain from personal attacks: 

Okay so, many (most?) of the regulars, myself included, are actually women married to fat men. Many of the regulars (both genders) are in long-term marriages, some have been together for several decades. Some of the "fit spouses" (for lack of a better word) have seen the love of their life go from fit, healthy and active to morbidly obese, immobile and sick - and yet the "fat spouse" (again for lack of a more polite term) refuses to understand that there might indeed be a bit of a problem. Some of the fat spouses have a habit of blaming their misery on the fit spouse, and yet throw a fit and/or get very nasty whenever the fit spouse is trying to say or do something that might actually improve the fat spouse's health and quality of life. 

Please try to understand that if the "fit spouses" were indeed heartless and shallow people, who only care about themselves and their own pleasures, they wouldn't be here venting their long pent-up anger and frustration, they'd be gone from the relationship a long time ago and out there enjoying the pleasures of the singles dating-scene. Yet, for some reason, instead of looking for a lover/mistress and seeking the easiest way out, the overwhelming majority come here looking for advice and hoping there's something they could do to bring on a change - and initially most are hoping for something to do or to say that would "work" without hurting the fat spouse's feelings. Unfortunately the consensus of opinion among the majority of the long-time regulars is that no such easy solution exists. 

The fit spouses don't come here because of hatred, they come because they want to save their relationship. If they use the word "hate" when they vent their anger and exasperation, it's the kind of "I hate him/her" that comes out when you are really upset. 

If you are indeed a fat spouse yourself, you are welcome to join our group of self-motivated spouses, or if you don't like that idea we'd be happy to have you around anyway. I think it's fair to say that MFS has always welcomed and encouraged a debate, and does not ban or censor dissenting opinions. The only thing you shouldn't do is attack the unhappy fit spouses - there's more than enough of that sort of thing going on on almost every other forum that discusses relationships. 

1 comment:

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