I have been reading and posting here and on the old MFS for some time.
Something has always puzzled me.
The talk about love! There is the love for a child which is unconditional love but there are still borders and consequences of wrong behaviour.
Then there is the love for the partner....an adult and sometimes it looks to me like there are no borders! Why?
Love to me doesn't mean that I am getting treated like an emotional garbage bin, a cash cow, a slave!
I am not the supervisior of my partners food intake, I am not the one to talk him into exercise, I am not the one who wipes his butt because he is too fat to do it himself. I am not the one to make excuses for him cause he can't to things ....because he is too fat.
Love to me means to respect my partner and be respected by him! It means that I try to make our life easier and I expect the same from him! It means that I try to be the best person I can be .....so our life is good! It means that I stay fit and healthy so I can be a good partner for a long time and we can have fun together, be it hiking, camping, kayaking....whatever! It means I dress myself nicely when we go out because I want him to be proud of me. It means that I help him when he needs me!
So many times, when I read about love here, it sounds so one sided. " I still love him......." but the partner is doing nothing to deserve this love! Au contraire, he does everything to kill the love!
And still .....people take it.....why..... I can't understand it.
If I am not valued as a person and partner, I am out of the relationsship....cause I am not happy and neither is my partner....so why stay?