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Saturday, January 23, 2010

Fat is Bad for Married Sex

Does the idea of having sex with your fat spouse really get you excited?
With the exception of a few people with “fat fetishes”, having sex with your
fat wife or husband either feels obligatory, or meets the bare standard of
releasing you’re pent up sexual desire. The overweight partner has even
greater issues when it comes to sex, which often goes beyond the
psychological. The desire to have sex with a trim sexy partner isn’t a
fabricated Hollywood myth; the science behind sexual interest in fit
bodies is real and has been confirmed over and over, it is undeniable to
a reasonable person.

Body types figure strongly in what gets people turned on sexually, this results from fact that we are hard wired to find healthy mates who are more able to bear, and subsequently take care of offspring. Studies show that there is a stronger correlation for men finding females attractive according to “BMI” than the much vaunted Waist to Hips Ratio (i.e. sexy curves). The “ideal” BMI peaks around 17 or 18. The attempt to qualify this obvious conclusion, as “media brainwashing” is delusional. The “fat acceptance” movement seeks to force people to be find overweight people attractive through politically correct pressures. This effort is doomed to failure because it denies the biological nature of sex and reproduction. An attempt by a wife or husband to guilt, or attack their partner for desiring a sexy mate, is just as doomed to fail.

In addition to being considered unattractive because of excess fat, an overweight spouse can often times have an aversion to sex, for several reasons. Physical and emotional issues are both factors in this aversion to having sex. Nearly 50 percent of those seeking treatment for obesity said they sometimes, usually or always felt NO desire for sex, compared to just 2 percent of those who were not obese. About four out of every 10 treatment-seekers reported physical problems with sex, according to a Duke University study. When it comes to a couples sex life the data certainly supports “fat isn’t fit!”

The good news is that even with moderate weight loss, the sex in a relationship can improve. A wife doesn’t have to fit back into a wedding dress in order for her to have new gained sexual confidence, or for her husband’s interest to be piqued. Information from the same Duke University study also indicates that weight loses as little as 10% resulted in more bedroom confidence, and better sex.

One of the sad, but almost comical aspects obese sex, is the sheer mechanics of it. At a certain weight some fat people simply can’t get their genitalia together in order to have sex. It is hard to imagine for most of us, but for many obese, instead of using this as a wake up call to lose weight, they simply avoid sex all together. The fat acceptance, online publication “Dimension Magazine”, has actually published a guide with suggested positions for the obese to work around their blubber in order to have sex. Reading this article produced by the “head in the sand” people is actually kind of entertaining, maybe a little gross. After reading this, one has to ask the question “Why not simply lose some weight and not have to deal with this issue?”

For many wives and husbands married to an overweight spouse most of this information simply confirms what you have already experienced. Choosing to be overweight in a marriage is not a simple aesthetic issue, which the thinner mate needs to learn to get over. There are proven emotional, biological, and physical reasons why it impacts the sex life of a marriage in a negative way. If you are the thinner spouse in such a relationship don’t be intimidated into believing your desires are simply unrealistic whims of a “shallow” spouse.

Chris's article from the old


  1. I am slightly overweight and so is my hubby. However, we have a happy healthy sex life. But, I believe that is because our marriage is based on much more then what we look like or our body types. We have been through a lot in our life together, things that have brought us closer together as a couple, things that we have had to weather with hard work and honesty, trust and love. In marriage the sexual part of it Has to come from more then just sex. It is about relationship, about the marriage...not about how hot the couple looks. Sometimes I think that people overlook that part of it.

  2. This may be true, but the most attractive BMI is not underweight. As someone who has acually been that thin as an adult I can say that I was tired all the time, and had no boobs and little sex drive, hardly the ideal partner.

  3. Weight and sex: less gets more

    As long as we’re on the subject of weight-loss motivators, we may as well bring in the big gun: sex. A study of the sex lives of 3,000 Britons found that — surprise! — obese men and women have sex less often — sometimes far less often — than those of normal weight, and when they do engage therein, enjoy it less.

    A few key statistics:

    * Nearly 60 percent of women who are a size 8 (in the UK; think of our size 6) had sex in the previous week, compared to 50 percent of size 12s and just 30 percent or so for size 26s.
    * Size 24 women report a lack of self-confidence in the bedroom three times as frequently as size 8s.
    * Over 10 percent of those classified as obese, and 12 percent of those with a high BMI, haven’t had sex in at least a year, primarily out of their reluctance, or even dread, when it comes to being seen naked.
    * Eight percent of the obese couldn’t recall the last time they had sex, and 70 percent of obese women and 48 percent of obese men restrict their sexual activities so as to avoid baring themselves to their partner.

  4. New Diet Taps into Pioneering Plan to Help Dieters Get Rid Of 20 Pounds in Just 21 Days!


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