He has ballooned up to 300lbs

I will start my story somewhat in the beginning. I met my husband when he was a chunky 220 at 5' 8" he had some pudge. I overlooked it thought it was something I could change.. cook healthy exercise and he would too. This didn't happen, now he has ballooned up to 300lbs. and I am grossed out by him. I do feel bad to say those words but I also feel that it is not fair. I get so angry at what he has done to our marriage by being so slovenly about his appearance.  I feel awkward and embarrassed to introduce him to new people for fear of what they are going to think. It is embarrassing for people to think I actually have sex with such an obese person. I have brought it up to him that I want him to lose weight especially when he complains about the lack of sex. I even told him once that if I wanted tits in my face I would have sex with a woman, he said i was mean. I have tried being nice about it but I just can't be nice any more!  I am angry frustrated hurt and lonely. I have no one to really talk to about this issue everyone calls me shallow. I have had 3 kids and work out watch what I eat to maintain a decent appearance. My husband is always telling me how hot I am and I just say lucky me for all the good it has done me! He doesn't get it. I am feeling like I could do so much better and am only in this marriage because of the kids. But I am too young to turn into a bitter unhappy woman. I do not like the person I am becoming and feel the only solution is divorce.

A calorie burned is a calorie earned!!

Posted by 

not what I signed up for

on Matilda Tuesday's My Fat Spouse Forum 

Great boyfriend but no sex life...

My current boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for almost 4 years.

When we first got together I figured it was going to be a temporary fling. We were/are good friends and had a lot of fun together. I had just gotten out of a 10 year relationship and wasn't thinking in the long term.

He has always been fat although he has gained since we have been together. He's a good 50-70lbs overweight. I never brought it up as I just didn't figure we would last long enough for me to have the right to say anything.

He goes back and forth with eating right and living clean. Then he's back on the soda pop and smoking weed and spending every minute in front of the tv. He makes much of his diet effort my responsibility. If I don't hold his hand with everything he has no self will.

I'm 5' 10 and 135lbs. He's 5'10 and somewhere between 250 and 270.

As it's turned out we have lasted way longer than I would have thought and I do love him very much. I'm entering my thirties and my clock is ticking, I want children but not with a fat person. He has a son who is obese. I just don't want that for my kids. And I don't want a father that puts his health at risk either.

We are no longer having sex. He doesn't even TRY to initiate. And in turn I'm relieved because I just can't stand the weight. His weight makes sex awkward.

How can I approach this at this point in the relationship?? Had I ever thought we would have lasted this long, I wouldn't have waited so long to jump on this subject. I just can't take the fat anymore. Or the laziness that goes along with it.

Posted by plulu on Matilda Tuesday's My Fat Spouse Forum

I believe honesty is usually the best policy

I believe honesty is usually the best policy, but I don't like to be cruel or needlessly hurtful, and so I am trying to be as tactful and kind as possible.

Too often I see overweight folks focus on the effects their weight has on their health and daily lives. I hear them complain, and rightly so, that they are treated cruelly because of their size. But I ask them to consider and focus on how their weight affects others, such as their spouses, and especially if they have spouses of a normal weight.

I can only speak from a woman's perspective, and I can honestly say that a soft waist and bouncing breasts are strictly feminine attributes, and on a man they can be total libido killers.

But the physical aspect is not the worst part. Women are typically different than men in that they can easily look at a drop-dead gorgeous hunk of a man and not experience any arousal because of the lack of mental and emotional appeal.

Well, when ones spouse knowingly maintains an unattractive [ie obese] appearance, and yet still desires that the wife remain slim and sexy, the first thing to go through the woman's mind is "don't my desires and feelings matter too?"

For a while I was able to convince myself that what I wanted didn't matter. I told myself (and still do) that I should be grateful for all of the numerous blessings in my life (which I am) including my hardworking husband.

But every time he brings home a skimpy shirt or a sexy dress for me to wear, and every time he asks to see me naked, I can feel the anger, and subsequent resentment, building up.

"Its not fair," I think.

I lied one day and told him that I had an uncommonly low libido, therefore I often wasn't "in the mood." I tried to blame my lack of sexual desire on myself. I even managed to convince myself of it for a while.

I am in my late twenties, and a small voice in my head continues to whisper that I am too young for this. My best years will pass by while I feel obligated to give sexual release to a spouse who can't seem to find the motivation to lose weight. If he will not do it for himself or his children, why would his wife be a good enough reason?

I will not consider adultery or divorce because I take my vows before God and witnesses very seriously. If I can't keep the big promises, how can anyone think to trust my small ones? I will not sacrifice my honor or the well-being of my children (who adore their father) for temporary gain.

And so I remain steadfast at my husband's side. But my inner turmoil is becoming unbearably painful. I just ask the overweight spouses out there to consider the needs of their spouse before their own, because most likely their slim spouses have been doing just that for years: showing loyalty, patience, and love while holding out the hope that one day their overweight spouse will get into shape.

It is time to stop being selfish, folks.

It is time to lose the weight.

Posted By  Torn on Matilda Tuesday's My Fat Spouse Forum

Weight in the World of Warcraft

I fear this might be the only place for me to turn for assistance. This has become a nightmare for me, a true nightmare.

I'll start by saying I play a lot of MMORPG's, in particular World of Warcraft. I'm kind of a nerd I suppose. A big nerd actually. ^_^; Haha, I've been playing online for many moons. I do have a job and pull my own weight in my relationship, and my wife and I keep an impeccably clean house, aside from my slightly unruly computer desk area. I usually focus a lot more on cleaning house in WOW rather than keeping my desk clean.

I met my wife online back in 2000. She sent me a pic, and I spent more time fapping than leveling up. She was hot. We talked on various chat sites, and played together in a few different games. It was a match made in heaven- a nerdy girl that's also hot? Score!

Well, in 2001, we decided it was time to meet IRL. We got together and had a blast! You know how people say you meet someone from the internet for the first time, and it's a truly awkward experience? Like you just don't even know them? Not us! We hit it off big time, and before we knew it, she was packing her bags and leaving home to come be with me. A few of my friends said this might be too soon, but I didn't heed their warnings. I was just so happy to find someone I could relate to so closely, I was blind.

Well, just as soon as she moved in, she got comfortable. We got a second desk for the office, and she set up her comp, and things went smoothly for the first couple of months. Lot's of play time, if ya know what I mean. ^_^ Within three months, she was showering less and eating more than I do. She looked a little heavier, but I ignored it, and figured that's what happens when you're happy with a man.

She's around 350 now. At 5'4", that's... a little too much. O.o; In terms of fattitude, she's level 80- I can't even politely show concern about her health. I fear that she will continue to gain and I have to say that I was turned off a long time ago. I haven't had sex in about 5 years.

This is where WingedChick87 comes in. I met her on WOW, and we talk frequently on MSN. We've been engaging in cyber sex often, and although I kind of feel badly for betraying my wife, I have needs! I've given up hope on her ever losing weight, but I'm wary about leaving her and having the same shit start all over again.

What should I do? It's a sticky situation. I feel like my life has been inflicted with a status effect of epic proportions. I don't wanna think about my wife like that. It's not fair to her. But this certainly isn't fair to me either. Should I drop her and equip another wife? Or should I continue my quest to find the right item to change her back into the hot chick I landed to begin with?

Posted by SkinnyWizard
on Matilda Tuesday's My Fat Spouse Forum