Running may be a Bad idea for your Fat Spouse!

As a person who used to be an active and successful personal trainer, I'll tell you that it's a genuinely BAD idea for someone who is overweight to run or even jog.

I'm going to post some links as to why it's a bad idea to run if you are overweight but for now let me explain the matter in an easy to deliver analogy.

A woman whose body is genetically programmed to carry 126-154 lbs on their frame at 5'8" has ligaments, muscle tissue, connective fibers, etc all geared toward that genetic marker for weight.

If a woman weighed 126lbs when she was actively running 5 miles a day, then that is her baseline weight. Take the baseline weight from when she was active and then use todays weigh in weight.

Let's for the sake of arguement say that this woman weighed in at 176lbs.

176lbs (current) - 126lbs (base) = 50lbs of weight.

To be more blunt, that means that she has a ratio 40% over her baseline weight.

Multiply that 40% by her current weight and you get the equivelent stress to her knees and ankles... which is approximately 70lbs.

That means if you want her to feel what it's like on her body to run at this weight, then give her a backpack and drop two 35lb weights into the back of it and tell her to try jogging with it.

It will become very clear, very quickly it's a super bad idea.

So the question is when should she begin running? Can she begin running?

The answer is yes, she can start. But she needs to develop a running strategy that starts from the base and moves up. She has to start with a walking regiment first, then move up to light running focusing on maximizing her glide and reducing her up and down motion (less jarring on the knees). Eventually she can move up to fartlek or H.I.I.T. training.

The thing about running is that it is only good for fat burning up to a point. Long distance runners don't typically lose as much body fat as interval trainers, because our bodies are not naturally structured for endurance type athletics. Sure we can always train for a marathon, but our muscles work better for shorter sprint distances.

My professional recommendation is that she start off very slowly, and focus on form/technique, etc. It comes back quickly but it's rough. She also shouldn't increase her mileage by more than 10% a week.

Another thing you may want to get her is a stick of body glide. It is rubbed on the inside thigh and keeps chaffing away like magic. You can pick it up at any running store.

If you have the money, go to an equipment reseller or craigslist and buy a high quality eliptical trainer or simply get her a gym membership at the YMCA if she'll go.

The eliptical trainer will give her a decent cardio workout with no jarring to the knees.

If she wants to know if she's working hard enough, buy her a heart rate monitor watch with a chest band. It'll tell her how hard she is actually working better than her own guess. And frankly it makes workouts more productive when you have some kind of tracking device as to where you are cardiovascularly.

Speed walking and hiking are great exercise as well. I'd also recommend if she is going to run to cross train and to stretch. If her body starts to hurt at all, switch gears and let herself heal. That doesn't mean quit working out. It simply means do a non-impact version of exercise until any injury she sustains is gone.

As a former runner I am sure she knows that the warm up and cool down periods are critical to avoiding injury so I won't go there.

She might also want to consider buying a shoe designed for her increased weight and foot type. Not all shoes are created equally and a good running shop may charge retail, but they are staffed with runners who aren't highschool students that don't have a clue about topics like strike, pronation, etc.

If I can find articles about this, I'll send them your way. Hopefully you won't need any to convince her to take it very slow.

Mapping out a work out plan and keeping track of goals is a great way to get things done. Try mapping out her distance and times and setting goals weekly.

Sprint training will help with the speed... she just needs to be super careful.

Good luck and I'll dig for some articles (they are rare because so few obese people run).

Peace,

Crash


Brother Crash wrote posted this on the My Fat Spouse Forum

Answers for Excuses

1. I don't have time

Answer: Do you have time to watch television? Do you have time to play on the computer and surf the web? Then you have time to do some exercise! TIVO the shows she is insistant on seeing.

Offer to help her make time if she's overwhelmed with work and home life. Take a 30 minute walk together. It will only help. Exercise DOES NOT have to be a 2 hour production involving half an hour each way driving and an hour working out/showering/etc.

2. I don't have energy and just want to go to sleep.

Answer: The best way to get more energy is to exercise. You'll feel renewed, and sleep better! Don't reach for coffee if it keeps you up. Part of feeling tired could also be not drinking enough water, or overdoing it on carbs, having sugar crashes or having a heavy meal.

3. I'm too out of shape to run/My knees hurt

Answer: Bought a used eliptical and a universal machine for dirt cheap from the internet. <-can't argue this one! It's a good excuse killer. Also point out bicycling and stretching or yoga would probably be good things to do as well.

 4. I work out, but I never see results

 Answer: Learn the right way to work out, no sissy excercises. I showed my fiance that when she lifted weights (which, unfortunately was well over a year ago) she was lifting too little.....I DOUBLED the weight and she was still able to get in 12 reps Don't use the word "wussy" with her or "sissy". It fuels the negative self image she already is fighting to shed. Further to add to this... results take time to see. Even more time if you are not pushing yourself properly. If you can do 3 sets of 12 reps... you need to up the weight.

5. working out is boring

Answer: Then do something fun while excercising. I learned to turn jogging into running, as a sport, to play on my competetive side. During the winter I watch TV while lifting or running on the treadmill. I'd be watching TV anway! Play group sports or basketball with her. Join an indoor sports team now that it's getting colder outside. Exercise doesn't have to be what people think. A long walk at the mall, a hike outdoors, a walk in the park, are all exercise.

6. I'm sick/have alergies and can't breath well

 Answer: There is no such thing as a stuffed up runner....excercising produces natural decongestants...I also take a benedryle and asthma inhaler before I excercise due to my moderate asthma Allergies can be controlled by a number of factors. Exercise won't make them worse. If you have cats and animals in the house, consider getting rid of them. If someone smokes they should quit. Benadryl causes sleepiness and its effectiveness diminishes because the medication builds up in your system. Find a better method of contolling allergies if a chronic condition. There are a number of long acting asthma medications that could help her. Further, not being able to breath well is tied to obesity. The exercise would open up her lungs and increase her oxygen carrying capacity. That in turn would help with her feelings of fatigue.

7. I'm too fat to work out in public

 Answer: If you can't be seen excercising, then why is daily living any better. If you can't suck it up work out at home. I wouldn't tell her to suck it up at home. Tell her nothing is as heroic and inspirational to other people as seeing someone who is heavy take charge of thier health. Iterate that if ANYONE says a negative word to her, that they'll be having a "come to jesus" meeting with you. It helps to enforce that "I'm in it with you" mentality. Additionally, many women don't like working out in public. But they dont' have a problem shopping or eating in public. So don't allow her to be self conscious. Ask her to be a hero and example to other people struggling with their weight. Of course, don't let her over do it either. She shouldn't be engaging in running if she has knee trouble.

8. I don't want you to see me excercising since I'm so fat and embarased

Answer:Tell her you want to work out with her because when you do things together that you feel closer to her. That it makes you feel like your part of the solution and it's very important for you to feel connected to her during this. Promise no judgements and that you won't try to take over her work out. That you'll only point out if there is a problem with form or safety reasons. All else failing, you can always look at the read out from the elipetical and tell she's working out. What she needs to hear is that you find her attractive and love to see her work out because it really makes you feel closer to her. JUST MY SUGGESTIONS Remember, don't call things wussy exercise... try telling her, I know you can raise the bar. I've seen such progress. Let's both try a little more weight, time, incline, resistence, etc. And follow it with, you're doing SO great! Trust me, it'll make a difference.

Some other happy tips.

After she works out and gets out of the shower at home... have a big towel ready for her that you threw in the dryer for a few minutes with a fabric softener sheet. It'll come out very warm and soft. When she steps out, wrap it around her and give her a kiss and say... I figured you might get cold.

Trust me, you get MAJOR points for this. Also bringing her ice cold water while she works out doing cardio is another big plus.

These little things are good for affirming her belief that you are still interested in her. And it goes a VERY long way towards motivating her to work out. No cardio, no shower with warm towel service.

And it doesn't take but 30 seconds of your time

Good luck!

Brother Crash a regular contributer to My Fat Spouse

A Male or Female Trainer for Women?

I can tell you that some women do better with a female trainer for various reasons.

However, in my experience, female trainers tend to take it much easier on their female clients, and are often times are what I term "over appeasing". Meaning they won't tell you things that might make you not like them.

Now I realize my views are likely to incite some negative response, but it's something I've always found as a stereotype.

My advice is to be aware of what kind of trainer is going to work best with your personality type. There are some female trainers who are outright ball busters. I've worked with a few that made bodybuilders want to curl up in ball and rock back and forth crying.

However, the main thing you should realize is that a trainer sees you as a client. And only a client. They don't care if you are fat, stink a little, have perfect make up or not. They are not there to have sex with you or date you. They are there to help you get fit.

Find someone who specializes in your training goals and has references or at least photographs of success stories they trained. Discuss time lines and goals, and willingness to set up a plan.

Often trainers will simply use a standard print out based on the same work out they give everyone else. If you have specific goals, then tell them you want a program tailored to those.

Don't judge a book by it's cover. Just because a trainer isn't ripped or musclebound doesn't make them any less effective. You wouldn't refuse to see a heart surgeon just because they smoked would you? You'd be more interested in their success rate. So go with that when making a decision.

One last thing... beware of the bulk packages for training services. Usually they are a scam. You'll never use all 10 sessions. Usually to get started people need 3 sessions. One initially, another a week later to make adjustments and another a month or so after that to switch up the program. After that you pretty much don't need to see a trainer until you have to switch things up again (which is every 6-8 weeks). So be careful and don't waste your money.

Remember that the trainer is not there to do the work for you. That only you can make it work. They are just there to show you how to do it.

A common misconception is that getting a trainer will sort out all your problems and you'll see results quickly.

Before you spend money on a trainer, you should get your diet and water intake dialed in and correct. Because until you do, money spent on a trainer is mostly wasted.

Trainers are NOT nutritionists or dietecians. If they are trying to sell you on supplements: RUN! Any reputable trainer will tell you that for general fitness and health nothing more than a standard multivitamin is needed.

If they try to sell you on fat burners or any other pills, just say no. They aren't qualified to make those judgements and it's not part of our training in any of the accredited programs.

Good luck!

The Fun Fitness List

1) Wii: Any game, so long as you are standing and getting into it. I am about to go play some Wii now as a matter of fact. Batter UP!

2) Motorcycling: It doesn't sound like exercise does it? But try driving a bike through twisting mountain roads and holding yourself upright as the wind threatens to knock you off your bike. It's not easy controlling 800lbs of steel between your legs.

3) Pool games... Marco Polo, sharks and minnows, diving and splash competitions... all things that make you feel exhausted. If you are near a lake a rope swing is a GREAT form of exercise. Swing out, hold on and let go and swim back as fast as you can to take another jump.

4) King of the BED! Get your significant other and pretend that the bed is a raft on a molten pool of lava. Yes the floor is lava and you are trying to toss the other person in. Tickling and pillow fighting is allowed. You'll be exhausted and it's great bonding time.

5) Household olympics... I play this one every once in a while. You make chores speed contests. Get two loads of laundry and see how can fold them up and put them away quickest. Each pick a bathroom and speed through cleaning it totally. Vacuum races. The winner gets to pick where the loser is taking them on a date. It's fun and you are exhausted and you make your spouse happier because you are doing your part to keep up the house.

6) Newspaper/Nerf Sword fights: Look, nothing says fun like rolling up a newspaper or grabbing a nerf bat and playing pirate or jedi knight or whatever. If the touch your leg you lose it and have to keep fighting while hopping up and down, get touched on the arm and it's the same thing, you got to use the other one. Play until you are both exhausted and then go do something else.

7) Hike to someplace fun: I live on the schukyll river near a national park. You can walk or bike down the river and run into small hamlets and villages with coffee shops, cafe's and quaint shopping all along the river.

8) MUSEUM JUMPING: Ever been to a huge museum or zoo? Well, you walk you ass off and climb stairs. So go do it. Then have a light lunch nearby at some cafe outdoors and drink a glass of wine and talk about the worst art you saw.

That's all I got for now. But hopefully you will all have ideas to add

posted by Crash on the My Fat Spouse forum.

Crash's Guide to Bringing It Up

Crash's Guide to Bringing It Up - The 1st Time - by Brother Crash

Crash is a regular on the My Fat Spouse Forum

Crash’s Guide to Bringing it Up:

I think that as time has evolved in my situation, I’ve learned some lessons that I’d like others to gain the benefit from. Hence, I am writing this guide to bringing it up with your loved one as a FIRST TIME APPROACH. I’ll also include my list of WHAT NOT TO DO and tenets of support. Yes, you are going to have to play a real role and work at this to make it work. But your relationship is worth it, isn’t it?Some clarification before we begin on why I think I can help you. Let me tell you why I am uniquely qualified to speak on the matter before you read the whole article. Also, while I am not a certified counselor, therapist or psychologist; I believe that the recommendations that I’m going to suggest are reasonable and in fact productive. You may wish to consult other posts to determine the correct course of action for your personal situation.My recommendations come from roughly a decade of helping people at varying stages of fitness, my own struggle with injury and weight gain, and helping loved ones drop weight and get healthier. I’m in the trenches. I’ve fought this battle several times already and come out successful in most cases. I work in pharmaceutical sciences in the area of endocrine disorders, although I also work in other treatment areas as well. My background in solid science and my chosen career are directly related to healthcare. And while I am NOT a doctor, I work collaboratively with the medical community on these issues everyday. My position requires that I continue to keep abreast of the latest developments, studies and theories. I do not have a website, I don’t charge for the personal training I continue to do today, nor do I write novels or books for a living. Everything I do, is pro-bono when it comes to helping other individuals. I’m a fitness professional and pharmaceutical researcher, I am not a journalist with a few cherry picked articles under my belt. Nor am I someone who obtains their information from fitness magazines promising 6 pack abs in 6 weeks.At the end of the day, remember this… “YOU are the one who must live with the results of your efforts… and only YOU can judge the situation accurately for yourself.”Take my advice at your own personal discretion.First Time Advice:Maybe they have started putting on weight. Maybe they were getting fit when you first started the relationship, and you thought that they’d continue. Perhaps they have asked you “Does this make my butt look big?” or “Do you still love me?”. Maybe they are morbidly obese right now and you have never brought it up. The following suggestions and points to consider may be able to guide you to successful first time intervention.1) Independently take stock of the situation.How long has this been going on? What has changed? Is this a slow creep or is it sudden? What is going on in your life and the life of your partner?Why ask all of these things? Because simply stating there is a problem does nothing for you. Ever been at work and heard those whiners and complainers go on and on about how unfair or unrealistic something is? But they don’t ever sit down and think about solutions or what is contributing to the problem? Irritating isn’t it?Understanding contributing factors DOES NOT mean accepting excuses. It means that you must understand the situation to correct it.Slow slide vs. Fast Slide:If it’s a slow slide you’re in luck and is usually easily corrected. The average person can gain 14-15lbs over the course of a year by simply taking in 140 extra calories a day. That’s a single candy bar, a can of soda, a pack of cookies or a snack pack of Doritos chips a day.Small changes really add up. Cutting out a single unhealthy snack can bring them back into balance. But it won’t cause them to lose the weight. Nor will simply walking 30 minutes a day. It’s more complex than that. But you should read my post on taking the weight off for advice on that. Right now we’re only going to focus on bringing it up and doing it successfully.If it’s a fast slide, then you need to seek medical advice. Rule out hormonal and other disorders. Thyroid, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (highly prevalent in women), insulin resistance, graves disease and other endocrinological disorders are often culprits for instant weight gain. The good news is that once they are treated, your partner can make some progress. It might not be as quickly as you’d like, but with consistent effort most things can easily be controlled or taken care of. For example, people with PCOS are very often insulin resistant, but one of the medications for it is metformin or Glucophage. Both are oral diabetes drugs that assist in insulin uptake within cells. Hence, energy can be used instead of stored.What has changed?:Knowing what has changed in your lives regarding your health is critical to bringing it up. Are you both busy? Did you just have another baby? Did she just have a baby? Are you strapped for time? How much of what you eat is controlled by your situation? Did you start skipping breakfast? Are you eating more fast food and cooking at home less? Has exercise disappeared from your daily routine? Is your partner getting enough sleep, water, and healthy food in their diet?All of these sound like gimme questions. But they are not. They will help you identify the situational causes for the weight gain. Simply saying, “They pig out” or “They live on the couch” isn’t going to do much to change your reality. You need to determine the underlying reasons for it.For example, depression and stress can both lead to inactivity and overeating. Food is a coping mechanism for many individuals. Food is comfort and reassuring. People who are depressed withdraw and are unlikely to engage in physical activity, or go out into the world unless they have to.Eating junk food is an easy fix. Not scarfing McDonald’s because it’s convenient is easy to circumvent with packing lunches. Hey it was good enough for you when you were going to school… and besides, lunch boxes are so much cooler now.Depression! Are you serious?:Depression is a whole other story. Obesity is a very ego deflating condition. People who are depressed are hard to get to acknowledge the problem. Stigma’s are rampant about people who get treated for depression. And of course, most of the medications also lead to weight gain, with the exception of a few like Wellbutrin which is known for actually helping with weight loss. But I encourage you not to take my word for this, and discuss options with your physician.If a person is legitimately depressed, it may be due to situational factors and stress… or it may be a chemical imbalance that needs pharmaceutical treatment. Keep in mind that many women suffer from post partum depression. If she’s had a child recently, or even within the last few years… she could be battling the chemical ravages that her pregnancy caused.Incidentally, there is a body of evidence that indicates that in many cases… exercise is as effective as pharmaceutical intervention. This story was published on Harvard University’s Medical site, referencing a study done:http://web.archive.org/web/20071229051308/http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsweek/Exercise-and-Depression-report-excerpt.htmI think it’s a must read for those who are trying to deal with this situation. If your partner is depressed, you need to be sensitive to their challenges and mind set. It is often one of frustration, hopelessness and insecurity. You’ll need to address the situation of an obese person as a WHOLE person… mental and emotional before you’ll see any positive gains (or loses in this case).2) Ask yourself what YOU want to accomplish and the best way to do it.Many people act/speak before they think. How many of us will spend hours practicing a company speech, rehearsing it in front of the mirror until our body language, tone and delivery are perfect? When you were going to ask you spouse to marry you, how often did you rehearse those lines in your head?I’m going to guess a lot. So it’s why I think that is why it’s SO very important to think about delivery before you bring it up.Here are my tips:1) Go out and vent your frustrations someplace private where no body can hear you. The fact is that if you have anger, aggression or frustration in your voice… they’ll immediately go on the defensive. YOU have to be balanced and ready to have the conversation with them.2) PREPARE. Find a quiet place and write down your key speaking points. Organize your thoughts. Make sure that the list and thoughts are not ever compromised or discovered. It’ll blow up in your face. Key talking points will keep the conversation on track.3) Find the RIGHT TIME. Just because that moment feels right for you, and you feel you can’t hold it in anymore… doesn’t fix your situation. It sabotages you. See TIP #1 above. In confrontations, you’d be ill advised to bring the subject up at a bad time. If they are stressed or tired, in danger of losing their job, their dog died, their friends or family are sick, etc. Then that is NOT the right time! Don’t be discouraged. I’m sure many of you are saying “There is never a good time! There never will be a good time! Why wait?!”. The answer is simple. Because you should only fight battles you can win.A case in point… The Afghanis forced the Russians to give up and leave their country. They didn’t win instantly. They never engaged the Russians in open direct battle when it was unfavorable for them. They bided their time and waited for the right opportunity. They were relentless and refused to be conquered. Their country was bombed into the stone age. But they lived free.A more politically relevant example would be the United States. While the US was fighting for independence from the British Crown… they didn’t make unplanned attacks in a hopeless situation. They waited until they had the advantage and stuck hard.Need an example of failure? Let’s look at the Civil War. The Confederate Army was decimated and demoralized by Pickett’s Charge. The Union soldiers were entrenched on what was known as Cemetery Hill. They were dug in and organized. General Lee was obsessed with breaking their strategic position. So he ignored the fact that it was a slaughter, said consequences be damned and sent 12,500 soldiers to charge a fortified position on higher ground over a mile away. They were slaughtered. It was a horrible mistake by not being realistic about the time and situation of the attack.I know that many of you are saying that the military history lessons don’t apply to weight loss conversations but they do. They illustrate the importance of waiting for the right time and place to be successful.4) Pick the right PLACE. Choose a neutral location. Choose a semi-public place, but one that essentially offers the ability to be discrete and still offers the privacy this would require. Let there be no distractions. No children, no friends, no family, no television. No place to retreat and nothing to interrupt you.5) DO NOT LIE. If asked why you want to go to the botanical garden, the river front, etc… tell your loved one that you want to spend time with them and talk about improving your relationship with each other. If they want to have the conversation right then and there, say something along the lines of “Honey, I love you. It’s nothing major at all. I don’t want to break up, get divorced, and I’m not even thinking about negative drama here. I want to improve upon the beautiful relationship we already share and see how we can make each other happier. Listen honey, just take some time to think about the little or big things that you feel could make our relationship better and we’ll talk about them then. I love you and I’ve been giving it a lot of thought because I value what we have so much.”. I am hoping that what I suggested you say is the truth.If you LIE and say something patently untrue, you’ve sabotaged your credibility. You are going to need that to be heard and believed.6) SET THE GROUND WORK. Before you get into the conversation, assure your partner that there will be no punches pulled.

Telling Your Spouse (The Soft Way)

By Brothercrash, a member of the former My Fat Spouse forum.

I think that as time has evolved in my situation, I’ve learned some lessons that I’d like others to gain the benefit from. Hence, I am writing this guide to bringing it up with your loved one as a FIRST TIME APPROACH. I’ll also include my list of WHAT NOT TO DO and tenets of support. Yes, you are going to have to play a real role and work at this to make it work. But your relationship is worth it, isn’t it?

Some clarification before we begin on why I think I can help you. Let me tell you why I am uniquely qualified to speak on the matter before you read the whole article. Also, while I am not a certified counselor, therapist or psychologist;

I believe that the recommendations that I’m going to suggest are reasonable and in fact productive. You may wish to consult other posts to determine the correct course of action for your personal situation. My recommendations come from roughly a decade of helping people at varying stages of fitness, my own struggle with injury and weight gain, and helping loved ones drop weight and get healthier. I’m in the trenches. I’ve fought this battle several times already and come out successful in most cases.

I work in pharmaceutical sciences in the area of endocrine disorders, although I also work in other treatment areas as well. My background in solid science and my chosen career are directly related to healthcare. And while I am NOT a doctor, I work collaboratively with the medical community on these issues everyday. My position requires that I continue to keep abreast of the latest developments, studies and theories.

I do not have a website, I don’t charge for the personal training I continue to do today, nor do I write novels or books for a living. Everything I do, is pro-bono when it comes to helping other individuals. I’m a fitness professional and pharmaceutical researcher, I am not a journalist with a few cherry picked articles under my belt. Nor am I someone who obtains their information from fitness magazines promising 6 pack abs in 6 weeks.

At the end of the day, remember this… “YOU are the one who must live with the results of your efforts… and only YOU can judge the situation accurately for yourself.”

Take my advice at your own personal discretion.

First Time Advice:

Maybe they have started putting on weight. Maybe they were getting fit when you first started the relationship, and you thought that they’d continue. Perhaps they have asked you “Does this make my butt look big?” or “Do you still love me?”. Maybe they are morbidly obese right now and you have never brought it up. The following suggestions and points to consider may be able to guide you to successful first time intervention.

1) Independently take stock of the situation.
How long has this been going on? What has changed? Is this a slow creep or is it sudden? What is going on in your life and the life of your partner?

Why ask all of these things? Because, simply stating there is a problem does nothing for you. Ever been at work and heard those whiners and complainers go on and on about how unfair or unrealistic something is? But they don’t ever sit down and think about solutions or what is contributing to the problem? Irritating isn’t it?

Understanding contributing factors DOES NOT mean accepting excuses. It means that you must understand the situation to correct it.

Slow slide vs. Fast Slide:

If it’s a slow slide you’re in luck and is usually easily corrected. The average person can gain 14-15lbs over the course of a year by simply taking in 140 extra calories a day. That’s a single candy bar, a can of soda, a pack of cookies or a snack pack of Doritos chips a day.

Rhonda's Progress Log

Rhonda's Progress Log may be just about the strangest thing ever posted on the My Fat Spouse Forum. Brother Crash posted regular updates for almost two years. Sadly, myfatspouse.com went down before the story ended and Crash never checked in on myfatspouse.org.


Dear Friends and Supporters:

For those of you unfamiliar with my post, I am going to be running a log of the progress that is made/or not made.

The short end of the story, my fiancee is 5'6" and weighed in at 288lbs at her heaviest with 46.5% body fat.

I'm going to simply add to this posting to keep things cleaner over the next several months. I hope that this helps you, I'll also be posting a recipe section that I've been using to get the weight off of her and maintain my own health.

4-29-07: 283lbs 46.5% BF
Rhonda has slowly adapted to eating lunches I prepare for her. The truth is she has never eaten quite so much in terms of food. It's simply not junk food, so in terms of volume, nutrition and fiber, she's up there now.

The hardest pitfall to overcome right now is getting her to drink enough water. Even in 32oz squirt bottles with ice and a little lemon, it's hard to convince a fat person to drink enough water. But blood sugar stabilization is critical to someone who is severely obese and they prefer cola and juice to water. If you can get them to drink unsweetened ice tea that will help.

Case in point, she just got back from church sporting a super size Wendy's cup. I asked, that's ice tea right? And she sheepishly said, no it's a coke. And I said, you don't need the coke and said I was going to pour it out. Her protest, BUT THAT COST 2 BUCKS! and I replied, and it's a half pound of FAT. And I poured it out with impunity and refilled the glass with ice tea.

When people are addicted to sugar you have to treat them like little kids. Don't allow excuses, just act. If they don't like it, they can get out of your life. They'd be doing you a favor anyway.

She is now working around the house and I have her scheduled for a walk later today.

She has a pedometer now and is expected to log 10,000 steps a day. If she doesn't she has to walk until she does. It's simple. It works and it helps keep people on track. Get a good one and it can't rack up false walking (they can't shake it to 10k steps).

Anyway, she is a few pounds lighter, but that is probably a lot of water weight too. I'll update this same post once a week. Hope to hear from you all. Warm Regards - Crash

4-30-07: 283lbs 46.5%BF

Holding the line is better than losing the battle. Her biggest problem seems to be drinking water. I'll step up her water consumption at night.

Today, I rolled out of bed as usual and made her lunch. She had a pounded grilled chicken breast on Arnold's Low Carb high fiber toast with a slice of pepperjack cheese and mustard. I also gave her a single serving of Trader Joe's spicy flax seed spicy nachos, a Larabar (date and cashew bar), a pineapple fruit leather and an apple for lunch. She has a small box (kid size) of raisins for a snack and a granola bar. For breakfast she had a yogurt smoothie and a multivitamin.

She has the healthy snack foods because in truth she spends the majority of her day at work, I wanted her to have some healthy choices for munching on instead of crap from a machine. She knows it's verbotten to cheat on her diet... so I found healthy snacks she enjoys and meter out the portions.

By the way, something you may want to invest in... a digital scale that measures in gram increments. The reason is that too many nutrition labels are WAY off. They will say a serving is 14 grams or 27 chips. So you count out 27 chips thinking you did great. WRONG! Because 14 grams actually equals 20 chips. Meaning you are eating ~25% more than you previously thought. The caloric calculations on virtually all food labels are done based on WEIGHT, not volume (as contents may settle... yatta yatta yatta). So take the time to measure how much you are really eating. You would be very suprised at what a REAL portion size equals.

One more GREAT TIP. When you buy a digital scale they will usually try to sell you a 50g calibration weight. This is unneccessary and overly expensive, they usually start at around 15 dollars. Here is a 50 cent solution. Go to the bank and pick up a roll of fresh nickels. Nickels weigh 5g a piece (precisely). Stack 10 of them on your scale and you are good to go FOR 50 CENTS instead of 15 DOLLARS. And when you are done you can use the 50 cents towards anything you like Come on! We know you've been looking to put a down payment on that new beamer!



5-4-07: 281lbs n/a%BF

Well the scale broke... so there is no %BF on this posting.

I am very proud of her success so far, but I want to make sure it continues. I have her eating breakfast (reversing a bad trend of skipping it for years) every morning and I think that helps control hunger throughout the day. Remember those Bill Cosby PSA's? Don't miss breakfast!

Rhonda's brother is in town. Yesterday she logged 13 miles of walking touring the great city of Philadelphia with her little brother. To top it off, she ate well in the morning, at lunch and at dinner. She really held her own and impressed me when she ordered a garden burger for dinner and then said to me "You know, I don't want to get the fries, see if they can sub them out for a small side salad or fruit."

I was truly impressed. At this point, I haven't gotten her into the gym as much, but I have been making her stay active.

The key to television and the computer has been simple for me.

I've told her "Listen, as long as you do your 30minutes of cardio walking when you get home, then I don't care WHAT you do with the rest of your evening. You can PLAY games till the cows come home, but you are going to bed at 10PM so budget your time accordingly."

I know that my methods are a bit authoritarian and some may wonder what will happen when I don't stay on top of her. Well, I'm teaching her HOW to LIVE a better lifestyle for herself. Whether I am in the picture or not won't matter shortly. My honest opinion is that if she stays on track for a year, she'll adapt to all of the changes and be hard pressed to give them up.

I will update again next Friday. I hope everyone is doing well. OH and I am posting the recipes in the DIET section today.


5-9-07: 279lbs 45.5% BF

Rhonda broke the 280 barrier. I must say I am pleasantly suprised. At this rate she's dropping alot of body fat and not eating away too much muscle. Of course, the body fat scales are always off a little bit. That is why you can't take it too seriously and use it only as a rough gauge.

She's been eating 3 meals a day plus 2 snacks a day. She's logging 7-10k steps a day before she even gets home. Now she is taking stairs when she can just to get in a tiny bit more exercise. She told me she hates it but she is motivated. She also will walk some at lunch to help rev her metabolism.

As I suspected she is seeing progress and is becoming self motivated.

When she wants a snack, she reaches for one of the healthy options. She knows that certain things are off limits at home. The Soy/Flax chips are simply for her lunches.

We've also been trying some new methods to make her feel fuller. She sometimes gets a bowl of tomato and roasted bellpepper soup (organic and not in a can) before dinner while she waits for it to be ready. This allows her stomach to send signals to her brain telling her she is actually full instead of eating to the point of gluttony.

In another 10 pounds or so (the next month) I expect to take her shopping. We're not throwing out the clothes because we'll be taking before and after pics using them.

I'm going to post more of what we're eating in the diet section. The food is really good and it's good for people who don't have a lot of time or money to spend. Eating healthy doesn't really cost as much as people say it does.

Her water intake is up and I told her if she's not peeing clear, then she needs to drink more water. I've also impressed upon her that she needs to drink water ALL day long. You don't stop after you drink 8 glasses because your body needs more than 8 glasses if you weigh more than 150lbs. EIGHT glasses is the MINIMUM. I am not saying drink 1 or 2 gallons in a sitting. Nobody wants to die of water toxicity. But drinking 8-16oz every hour won't hurt you in my opinion (unless you are on kidney dialysis or have some kind of health problem).

When she gets home today we'll be going for yet another walk in the park up the street. We'll be having the same dinner I posted in the diet section, Halibut-green beans-tomato/feta salad and a cup of brown rice.


5-11-07: 278lbs 45.5% BF

Yet another pound gone. But that is not why I chose to post today. The reason is something that she said.

She looked down at the scale this morning and said, "Wow I lost another pound! I guess the pressure's really on now!"

Truth be known, it gave me a little bit of a lift to hear that. I was as if she acknowlegded that she is getting results because she has ditched many of her bad habits.

The most important thing here is to see motivation from within. I think she realizes that there are new clothes in her future if she'll stay committed.

I am not bribing her with anything either. I've simply told her that we'll have to adjust her wardrobe as the weight continues to fall off. More importantly, some of the clothes she could no longer fit in are fitting again.

She also confided in me that she hated it at first, but since the New Year she has felt progressively better, less tired and in a better state of mind.

I believe that the typical american doesn't eat enough vegetables and fruit. And by simply making her eat more produce, she's feeling better.

I do expect that she'll fluxuate up or down a few pounds, by the time labor day rolls around in 4 months... I am hoping she'll be down another 40lbs.

To give everyone an idea of what even a moderate amount of weight loss can do, vast improvements in blood pressure, hormone response, blood sugar and cholesterol are seen from as little as a 10-15lb loss.


5-12-07: 276lbs ??.?% BF

She is down to 276lbs as of this morning. Some of this is probably water weight. The scale has gone out... I thought I fixed it but it's broken. We're using a back up scale but it reads the same (no variation, just no BF or water percentage analysis).

We spent the night out last night until 2AM playing pool and talking with friends. She drank wine spritzers and ate no junk food. She even played a few games of pool and enjoyed the time out.

When I woke up around 12pm, she was gone... she showed up 15 minutes later soaking wet with sweat, wearing her walking shoes and her pedometer saying she went out for a 30 minute walk and asked what was for lunch, that she'd made a super smoothie (no sugar) this morning for herself when she got up and was starving.

I fed her a quick snack and then some soup and a salad.

We're about to go walking at the mall and I hope that we can find a new digital scale.

I've also got her to help me with gardening today. I am hoping that the trend continues because it would be so great to have her back!

Good luck to all and feel free to drop me a line anytime.



5-23-07: 275lbs ??.?% BF

So I haven't gotten a body fat capable scale yet. It's in the works. But Rhonda has dropped another few pounds. This was after I went away to New Orleans for 6 days and she didn't gain any weight. She also said she went for her walks and ate breakfast and healthy options.

She had to buy some new pants and an old pair she barely fit into are now falling off her. It's amazing what losing some weight can do to your body. She seems very motivated and I am hoping she stays that way.

I'm having to transition her to being self motivated as my work may take me from home frequently and I can't afford for her not to be self sufficient in cooking and exercise if I am gone for a week at a time.

That's all she wrote for today. But I am sure she'll keep losing. I'm proud of her and told her so. I also brought her back a cute pink cowgirl hat from new orleans... you never have to worry that it won't fit and told her that I hope she'll wear it when she gets down to a suitable weight to go ride horses with me.

Crash

6-2-07: 273lbs ??.?% BF

Yep, it's a fact she's lost another 2 lbs. She weighed this 2 days ago and weighed it again today, so I am logging it.

More to the point, the belt she obtained when she bought some pants has now gone from the third notch to the first notch on the belt and it's loose.

Today we are going to the pool and we will do some laying out and some light swimming.

Last night, she got dressed up and we went out with friends to a Jazz concert and then hit a dive bar and played pool. For those of you who have fat partners, sometimes a lack of desire for socialization is a problem. Rhonda is feeling better about herself and is going out. I would also mention she didn't bother drinking or eating empty calories, she stuck with ice tea and did really well.

We had super chili for breakfast with whole grain crackers. It's really good. I hope you all will try it.


6-15-07: 269lbs ??.?% BF

She's broken another marker and I am very proud of her. The mindless eating has subsided in large part. Next weekend we are going canoing down a local river for 5 miles... and it was her plan.

She is much wiser about her food choices and I've noticed she doesn't choose things that are going to set her back.

Tomorrow we'll be at the local YMCA for swimming and sunning. Yeah, she's overweight, but even fat people like the water. And as far as I am concerned, so long as she is working her ass off (pun definitely intended) then I am happy to go places with her.

Tonite is a soup and salad night with lean dry rub barbecued pork loin. Protein at night helps maintain some muscle mass.

Incidentally, she got a new job which she started last week. Turns out she has time in the mornings to work out now. So we will both be going together in the near future. I am expecting the weight to come off twice as fast once regular cardio and weights are added to her mix.


6-30-07: 263lbs ??.?% BF

This is the lowest she's been in the last two years. Of course, I do think it has something to do with the fact that she has eaten very little at work with her new job in the ER at the hospital. They don't tend to get to eat a lot in that department... and even if you eat 5 cliff builder bars that's still only 1500 calories for a person who is burning that much during the day lifting people onto gurneys and practically running from station to station.

I'm thinking she is going to be at this weight for another week or so at least. However, I am worried that some of the weight she is losing is her muscle mass. And while she could probably lose a little, I don't want it to deteriorate.

Work outs have been okay for her, but she's not getting enough time in the mornings. I've got to find a way to wake her up and get her revving faster.

But you can't argue with progress...

Incidentally, she got a new incentive to get fit faster. It turns out that my first wife (who happens to be smoking hot) is going to the same wedding I am the best man for in Ecuador.... 14,000 feet above sea level. My first wife (I don't call her an EX, because she wasn't a witch and I think the world of her, so she's simply a first wife) told me she'll be there and is looking forward to seeing me and my new woman and invited us to join her on the beach in Esmeraldas. That means that Rhonda has to really step up her efforts to be able to fit in with my friends and the crowd I hung out with. They are all very active and very healthy people... and the beach area we're going to hit happens to be clothing optional.

I feel like going outside and hiking in Valley Forge National Park. So I'll see you guys later. Hope all is well with everyone and keep positive. It is doable and it is possible to get your life back. She's dropped 20lbs in two months... most of it blubber. There are no excuses only results.



8-11-07: 260lbs ??.?% BF

So plateaus suck... they really really do. Her weight loss has stalled out and it's not due to cheating. It's due to the ability of the human body to adapt.

So I am posting changes to what she is doing.

As it turns out the diet is going to shift as well... as she is going to be on a weight training program shortly.

The good news is that she is still committed and saw some VERY fat people at the Zoo this weekend. She looked over at me and said, "I'd have been that big if you hadn't stepped in!" I just smiled and nodded.

Now it's true she's about 100lbs still overweight, but the fact is that she's still working to drop it. It's not as fast as I would like it, but her clothes are fitting looser.

Some positive behaviors she's adopted firmly:

-Eating breakfast.
-Using stairs instead of taking the elevator everywhere.
-Measuring portions of food.
-Weighing everyday.
-Drinking more water.

In order to break her plateau... we've put her on the USMC daily 16 workout that was posted. She's not capable of finishing the whole thing yet, but I am working with her to get the fitness tuned up so that she can complete what is essentially a USMC "WARM UP" for a real workout.

It's a rough prospect but the catch it to push everyday and leave nothing undone... even if it takes you twice as long to finish a workout.

Anyway, I'll post again in two weeks with results.

10-21-07: 255lbs ??.?% BF

Well Rhonda is breaking the plateau slowly. It's hard work. Her body is in the process of reshaping. She's reshaping her body so that now she's down a size and has had to buy new bras. It's a beautiful thing.

The size 22 pants are now fitting losely and she'll be in size 20's very soon. I'm extremely proud of her efforts.

The exercise route has been hard for her. She's missed several days and the daily 16 has been leaving her very sore.